Parenting is not just about food, shelter, and school fees—it’s about shaping destinies. Every child is like a blank canvas, and parents are the artists whose words and actions paint the future. I recently watched a sermon by Rev. Dr. Don Odunze titled Father’s Blessings, and it hit me hard. He spoke about the power of parental blessings, reminding us that children carry untapped potential, and parents have the key to unlock it—not with money, but with words.
Yet, instead of blessing their children, many parents do the exact opposite. Insults, comparisons, and curses replace words of affirmation, leaving emotional scars that last a lifetime. Whether spoken in anger or love, a parent’s words shape a child’s confidence, self-worth, and future success.
If you have siblings, you know how this goes. Favoritism is one of the fastest ways to destroy family bonds. Picking a “favorite child” and treating others as afterthoughts breeds resentment, unhealthy competition, and a lifelong struggle for validation. Every child is unique—some are born scholars, some are creatives, and some are natural leaders. Parenting is not a reality show where you crown a winner—love them all equally.
We live in a time where parents are busier than ever. In places like Nyanya-Karu, traffic alone can steal 5-6 hours daily, meaning parents leave home before their children wake up and return after they’ve gone to bed. The result? Society ends up raising them. By the time parents realize their children have adopted behaviors from the streets, it’s often too late. The sad truth? Some parents only interact with their kids on weekends. Compare this to our childhoods—waking up to morning devotion, listening to parental wisdom, and ending the day watching news with our parents. Those little moments shaped us. Children need guidance, not just school fees.
Some cultures believe parents are always right. But let’s be honest—we mess up too. Learning to apologize to your children teaches them responsibility and emotional intelligence. If you expect your child to say sorry when wrong, be the first example. Likewise, yelling, nagging, and constant reminders of past mistakes do more harm than good. Statements like:
“Look at your mates, the one who took first in class, does he have two heads?”
“You are useless!”
“You will never amount to anything!”
These words don’t motivate—they destroy confidence. A child should strive for success because they believe in themselves, not because they are afraid of failing their parents.
Another mistake African parents often make is forcing children into careers they have no passion for. Every child is born with a unique gift—some will be doctors, others artists, engineers, or entrepreneurs. Your job as a parent is to nurture their strengths, not dictate their future.
And let’s talk about this: forcing left-handed children to use their right hand. Why? If their brain naturally favors the left, let them be! Correcting a child’s natural ability does more harm than good.
African parents deserve credit—they’ve raised some of the most hardworking, disciplined, and resilient children despite challenges. That’s why many African kids excel globally, even in tough conditions.
But let’s be real—some modern parenting ideas have also created a generation of entitled children who believe everything should be handed to them without effort. Some think hard work is outdated and success is automatic. That’s why balance is key:
Correction without verbal destruction.
Structure with flexibility.
The Bible reminds us:
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction drives it out.”
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
But correction should never become emotional or physical abuse. Parents must think before they react—emotional control leads to better decisions and stronger families.
We parents sometimes frustrate our children without realizing it. But we can change that by:
Speaking blessings over them instead of insults.
Avoiding favoritism that causes rivalry.
Making time for them despite our busy schedules.
Encouraging their dreams instead of forcing our own.
Learning to apologize when we are wrong.
Correcting with love, not condemnation.
Parenting is not about perfection—it’s about intentionality. Our words can either bless or burden our children. Choose wisely. Bless your children today!
Abu can be reached via danjumaabu3750@gmail.com or +2348062380296
