I recently read a piece by an anonymous writer suggesting that having a man and being married is the ultimate prize for a woman, regardless of how one chooses to frame the argument. The writer aims to inspire women to be humble and modest, regardless of their achievements, success, or wealth. His perspective suggests that the true prize lies in securing a life partner and getting married—something that is more feasible for women when they take advantage of opportunities in their youth.
The writer references Rihanna, claiming that despite her immense wealth and accomplishments, she remains committed to her marital home. He states:
“The moment Rihanna realizes she has passed her prime, her sexual market value is in serious decline, and she is losing her eggs to menopause, she humbles herself, sets aside her pride, and quickly seeks a man to submit to and marry without prejudice.
We all know she is wealthier than ASAP Rocky, more famous than him, and an A-list artist, yet she chose to secure the prize. Even when rumors surfaced that ASAP cheated on her, she did not waver; she held onto her prize.
Her money, fame, recognition, and awards could not compare to the joy of securing the prize. A truly wise woman, she understands that if she continues to pride herself like other ‘foolish’ women—setting unrealistic standards while ignoring her decline in the dating pool—she will only be used as a temporary option and nothing more.
What many women fail to realize is that men are always willing to engage with them without commitment until they are no longer desirable.
What makes a man valuable for marriage is different from what makes a woman valuable. A man’s value for marriage grows with time, while a woman’s value declines. No matter how you twist the logic, men remain the prize.”
While many people agree with this perspective, judging by the positive responses in the comments, I want to explore different angles of this argument to contribute to a more balanced discourse on Valentine’s Day.
Marriage: A Defining Factor for Both Men and Women
Marriage has long been considered a defining milestone for both men and women. It is often regarded as one of the ultimate achievements, serving as motivation for many to study hard, work diligently, and become “responsible.” This explains why engagements and weddings are celebrated with joy and congratulatory messages, similar to achievements like academic success or career advancements. In contrast, being single or divorced does not typically elicit the same level of social approval.
For many, marriage provides a sense of purpose, comfort, and stability. The idea that wealth without a family to share it with is less fulfilling is a common sentiment. However, this emphasis on marriage is disproportionately placed on women, often due to the belief that their time to remain “marketable” in the dating pool is limited compared to men.
The Perception of Men as the Prize
Two key reasons contribute to the notion that men are the ultimate prize for women:
1. Traditional Gender Roles: The role of a woman has historically been associated with caregiving, nurturing, and serving her family. Many parents consciously or unconsciously instill the belief that financial independence or personal achievements cannot replace the fulfillment of marriage and motherhood.
2. Societal Expectations: Women often face pressure due to the perception that they have a limited window of opportunity to secure a partner. Since society places the primary responsibility of a woman’s well-being on a husband, all other achievements without marriage are often viewed as inferior or incomplete.
Changing Narratives: The Feminist Perspective
Highly successful women, particularly intellectuals, feminists, and celebrities, have been challenging the notion that marriage should be the primary measure of a woman’s worth. They argue that defining a woman’s character and strength solely by her marital status is an outdated, patriarchal mindset that needs to change.
Despite their efforts, societal resistance remains strong. The title of “Miss” for a woman over 30 often evokes not just scrutiny but also sympathy or concern. The prevailing belief is that a single woman cannot be truly happy, reinforcing the idea that marriage equates to happiness.
In response to this pressure, some feminists advocate for an alternative approach: since bearing children is one of the primary reasons for marriage, women who do not wish to conform to traditional marriage norms may choose to conceive and raise children independently. This shift has contributed to the rise of single mothers by choice and “baby daddies” as new norms, particularly among financially independent women. However, these alternatives still face societal resistance, as failed relationships and unmarried motherhood are often met with judgment rather than recognition.
The Reality: Marriage and Happiness
Marriage remains a defining factor for both men and women, even in political and social spheres. Those without spouses are often perceived as deviants or irresponsible individuals unworthy of public trust. However, while marriage can contribute to happiness, it is not the sole determinant. The quality of marriage is far more important than simply being married.
Research consistently shows that marital satisfaction correlates positively with overall happiness and life fulfillment (Bradbury et al., 2000; Umberson & Montez, 2010). A supportive spouse can provide emotional security, companionship, and a sense of belonging, which enhances well-being (Cohen et al., 2015; Taylor et al., 2000). Additionally, marriage can offer economic stability and reduce stress, contributing to overall life satisfaction (McLanahan & Kelly, 2006). However, individual differences, such as personality, values, and expectations, play a crucial role in determining marital happiness (Belsky & Kelly, 1994). Ultimately, the quality of the relationship, rather than the mere presence of a spouse, is a stronger predictor of happiness (Bradbury et al., 2000).
Conclusion: The Real Prize
Happiness in marriage is not merely about securing a partner but about the quality of the relationship. Regardless of a woman’s wealth, the presence of a supportive, committed, and emotionally available partner contributes significantly to happiness, stability, and the well-being of children. While financial and academic success are commendable, emotional intelligence and the ability to build a stable relationship and home are increasingly recognized as crucial factors for personal fulfillment and leadership.
Marriage, at its best, is a combination of emotional, financial, and social fulfillment. It serves as inspiration for personal growth, professional success, and community development. The essence of knowledge and education is to cultivate humility, fairness, love, and consideration—qualities that are essential for a strong marital union. As Valentine’s Day encourages reflection on relationships and love, it is crucial to recognize that there is no true alternative to a successful, legitimate relationship and a stable home, which ultimately contribute to a better society.
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