Has there ever being a period in your relationship where it feels as though things are going down the hill? Like you both know that the relationship is not working out but none of you want to come straight up and break up. The truth is that so many people remain in unhealthy relationships because they are too reluctant to take the step to breakup with their partners.
I have been in this shoes and I can categorically say that it wasn’t fun at all. Like, you know you are tired of the relationship but you are scared to walk away because you are scared you might meet someone worse than your partner.
Well, if you are in this stage of your relationship right now, I want you to know that the first and the most important thing you should do if you think you should breakup with your partner is this to fuel your intention to breakup by knowing these-
First, know that each day you spend in that unhealthy relationship will affect your well being, increase your guilt and make it harder for you to breakup.
Secondly, living with these unpleasant feelings resulting from your desire to breakup will make you feel worse than if you broke up right away.
And again, the more you procrastinate the more your relationship partner will get attached to you and the harder will the breakup be for both of you.
Most times, breaking up with someone can really be an awkward, painful and depressing event. Sure, sometimes it can be refreshing but if we wanted the relationship to work and have come to realize that it won’t, it can be a very sad time. Most of us don’t want to hurt the other person when we break up with them and here is how you can do that;
Break up with him or her in person:
One way to break up with your partner without hurting them is to break up with him or her in person and not just through a text or a phone call. At least, respect them enough to sit them down and explain why you think the relationship will not work. We’ve heard breakup horror stories—think being dumped by text—so we know anything less than a face-to-face chat feels like salt rubbed into a gaping wound.
Know what to say before you have the breakup conversation;
Before you break up with that person, create a script in your head for what to say when breaking up with person. Prepare yourself for the questions and comments they might have. By planning the conversation ahead of time, you’ll be less anxious and more emotionally equipped to end the relationship—planning ahead is key advice for how to break up with your partner especially when you don’t want to hurt them but you still want to be firm about it.
Use positive and encouraging words;
Just because you’re ending things doesn’t mean you can’t give your soon-to-be ex a boost with a few genuine compliments. Kind words can have a lasting impact and will give them something positive to take away from the breakup. You can say something like, “I love your sense of humor and that I can always count on you, but [insert breakup reason here].
Don’t beat around the bush;
When stating the reasons for the breakup, don’t beat around the bush. Be direct and honest about it. Tell the truth about why you want to break up. You might be tempted to sugarcoat, but the best approach is honesty. He has a right to know what went wrong in the relationship. Don’t leave them guessing or assuming the worst.
Make it 100% clear that it is over.
If you are going to break up with them, then make it clear to them. Don’t leave anything up for debate. If you’re convinced it’s over or your issues can’t be resolved, don’t leave them with a glimmer of hope. There’s no need to be mean, but you should be firm.
The truth is that if you’re not firm, you could end up giving your soon-to-be ex false hope that things could work out in the future. It might seem like you’re softening the blow, but it only prolongs the pain to say things could change.