We treat the Earth
like an elderly relative
whose memory
has gone sour,
testing our canines
on her liver,
forgetting
we live
inside her lungs,
breathing through the ache
of her patient’s chest.
Humanity
is a fascinating contradiction:
a species
that can’t find its wardrobe
in a half-bedroom apartment,
yet possesses
the sheer,
unbridled audacity
to attempt
a DIY lobotomy
on the stratosphere.
We treat the planet
like a _“Smart Home”_
where we’ve lost the manual,
so we’ve decided
to just start
cutting wires
to see
which one
stops the smoke alarm.
The _“headache”_
isn’t just
the rising heat;
but
the clinical comedy
of our _“Geoengineering”_.
palliatives.
We consider
spraying the sky
with sulfur
as if we’re just applying
a bit of dry shampoo
to a greasy scalp.
We treat the climate
like a chaotic
ex-partner:
we know exactly
what we did
to upset it,
but our plan
for reconciliation
involves
more of the same behaviour,
just wrapped
in a _“green”_
biodegradable bow.
The models
are failing
because the planet
has stopped
playing by the rules
of our grants.
While we sit
in climate-controlled rooms
debating
the _“regional outcomes”_
of a 2-degree shift,
the Earth
is essentially
changing the locks.
We are like
a tenant
who has set
the kitchen on fire
and is now
trying to negotiate
the security deposit
by promising
to use
a smaller match
next time.
The _“Unpredictable Human”_
is the ultimate variable.
We are
the only creature
that will watch
a wall of water
approach the shoreline
and spend
the remaining
three minutes
of our lives
arguing about
whether the water
is _“technically”_ wet
or just
_“politically”_ moist.
The planet
is no puzzle
to be solved
by the same primates
who invented
the _“as-seen-on-TV”_
egg peeler.
She is
a biological system
currently undergoing
a delirium,
and she’s beginning
to realize
that the most effective way
to lower her temperature
is to shake off
the irritating,
carbon-emitting scabies
currently occupying
her sofa.
_Majekodunmi O. Ebhohon is a Nigerian poet and playwright. He is the author of ‘The Great Delusion’, winner of the ANA Prize for Drama, 2025. He writes from Benin City, Edo State, Nigeria.🇳🇬_
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