(Continued from last week)
While ancient Chinese proverb believed that: “expectations can limit us, but they can also inspire us to achieve great things.” Sam Watson argued that: “we often set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others, leading to disappointment and frustration.”
This is because some thinkers like him believed that most times, “expectations are premeditated resentments.”
It is high expectations on celebrities from people, alongside their own self-imposed expectations that pile the much-talked about pressure to live up to their status on them.
Sometime, in February 2003, I was on my way back to School when I met Aka Eze Aka (a veteran broadcaster) with the then Enugu Zonal station of Federal Radio Corporation of Nigeria (FRCN), now General Manager, FRCN, Radio Nigeria Voice FM, Nsukka. A bossom friend and classmate of mine, with whom I was traveling was already waiting for me at Nsukka garage. After having tête-à-tête with Aka, I left for the garage. On getting there, my friend was blue with rage. He asked why I kept him waiting. I explained how I met Aka, at the Obollo Afor park where he is waiting to board a bus back to his Enugu residence.
My friend shuddered in bewilderment! “You mean a celebrity like Aka Eze Aka doesn’t have his own car?” His astonishment surprised me, because in my ‘naivety’ I can’t understand how having a personal car ‘to match’ one’s high status in the society should be a criteria for measuring fame. Moreover, he didn’t even inquire if it was faulty car that made Aka decide to go by public transport that day.
It was there I got to appreciate in a little way, how difficult life is, for men and women of fame in their elevated societal class, as they struggle to fit in.
Meanwhile, as our vehicle hit the road that afternoon, his reaction triggered a dramatic flashback in my memory. I began to reminisce back into our primary school days, and how I was among three academically rated pupils in our set. As kids, three of us were into some inadvertent competition to outclass one another in the overall first three positions at the end of every term. During lessons in the class, each gets tensed not to be pointed to answer questions for fear of getting the answer wrong. So even before one attempts the question, one is already living in envisaged stigma of failing in the presence of one’s ‘competitors’.
That was the pressure of “miniature” celebrity status that we were into, as early as primary school life. From this, you can imagine what full-blown national and international icons face daily, trying to maintain lifestyles that suit their status. Many of them conceal a lot of flaws (that is rectifiable) including health challenges.
This leads to widespread mental health issues among the people we look up to, as Models. Like they say, “no habit is acquired in a day,” The build up to the entrenchment of this culture spanned well over time among our elites and celebrities.
Another disturbing factor that leads to insatiable quest for more fame and super fame among those who are already famous is discontentment. It enthrones unhealthy competitive relationship among them. One wants to outdo the other, to appear better.
The example of the self-styled “investigate journalist” — Kemi Olunloyo’s feud with Late Ada Ameh that held Nigeria’s social media space hostage for weeks stinked to all sane minds. Their verbal brigandry festered into Mrs. Ameh’s death, in that Mrs. Olunloyo kept on vilifying her long after she is gone. Former Big Brother Naija housemate, Kate Jones, popularly known as Ka3na would later join in their war, ostensibly to prove a point.
It shows that even when they are of different industries, many celebrities war against one another, thereby inflicting undue pressures on themselves. They take refuge in hubris which is becoming customary to them.
Moreso, when they find themselves attending a common social function like wedding ceremony, the plebian urge to look better than the other surges to the fore. And that’s how endless wardrobe reviews and costume appearance rehearsals take centre stage in their private lives.
What happened to marginal envy of other’s achievements? Millionaire Blogger Linda Ikeji’s purchase receipts for her landed property in Banana Island as well as luxurious cars bought for her kid are in public domain, suspectedly to oppress her contemporaries. Cross-dresser Bobrisky would flaunt screenshot of his airtime balance on his phone, with the caption: “this is someone else’s bank account balance, but that’s what I use as credit on my phone.” Davido’s birthday celebration in an expensive yacht, is the envy of many people in his class. Rivers State governor, Nyesom Wike’s braggadocio of having a 45 years old Whiskey in his bar is still fresh in our minds.
All those bravado are to what end? Just to show whose class surpasses the other?
Even the living legend of Nigeria Pop Music — 2Face Idibia (as tame in character as he is) could not avoid engaging in an unnecessary feud with former Super Eagles captain, John Mikel Obi, over obeisance to allegiance of territorialism, when the former met the latter in a Pub within the neighborhood of the latter’s residence in London.
The list is endless, but the danger is that the end to such ruinous phenomenon is not in sight. Thus there is a growing need for counter-cultural witnesses to the culture of crass superiority complexes, materialism and mindless opportunism which is sweeping through our land and eating away the vital innards of the Nigerian society, as many even among the celebrities are catching the bug with frightening speed.
Perhaps, a lesson from one of my favorite Indian films more squarely fits into the conclusion of this discourse.
In the popular 2009 Bollywood movie, “3 Idiots” directed by Rajkumar Hirani, the central character in the film, Aamir Khan (Rancho in the movie) taught the Director of his school — Imperial College of Engineering in the movie, who had stereotyped his students into believing that “life is a race, and if you don’t compete to outrun the other, you will get trampled upon and die,” that such system will only increase mental pressures on the students, which in turn, leads to high rate of depression and suicide ravaging the Indian society. He would later sell this noble philosophy to the whole College community which made life easy for them on campus.
The day our generation will learn to imbibe this culture, will be the start of a remarkable turnaround in true fortune and values.
May daylight spare us!
(The end)