In the realm of love and relationships, we often find ourselves facing a conundrum when it comes to advising a friend or a loved one about their choice of partner. It is an age-old dilemma—what do you do when you see your dear one falling for someone who appears to be making all the wrong moves? The answer might just lie in the old adage, “Never interrupt your enemy when he/she is making a mistake.”
In this modern-day tale of love and rivalry, we encounter a protagonist facing the unenviable task of watching their closest friend being drawn to a romantic partner displaying obvious red flags. Despite heartfelt advice and warnings, the enamored individual seems utterly deaf to reason. Our hero, let’s call him Alex, finds himself entangled in a struggle between loyalty and the desire to protect his friend from inevitable heartache.
The story unfolds with Alex witnessing his friend, Sarah, being swept off her feet by an alluring yet problematic partner named Jake. To those on the outside looking in, Jake embodies the classic archetype of a disastrous love interest. He’s mysterious, charming, and seemingly irresistible. However, beneath the surface, there are telltale signs of trouble ahead—flashes of arrogance, emotional manipulation, and a history of questionable behavior with previous partners.
As a concerned and caring friend, Alex’s initial reaction is to protect Sarah from the potential pitfalls of this relationship. He offers her well-intentioned advice, trying to draw attention to the red flags fluttering in the wind. But Sarah’s heart is already smitten, and she brushes off Alex’s concerns with a mix of infatuation and defiance.
In this unfolding drama, Alex finds himself in the role of a rival, not in love, but in wisdom. He recognizes that any further attempt to dissuade Sarah at this point might alienate her even more. It’s a delicate balance between being supportive and risking alienation. It’s at this crossroads that the wisdom of “never interrupt your enemy when he/she is making a mistake” comes into play.
The phrase itself is often attributed to Napoleon Bonaparte, who is believed to have used it as a strategy in military tactics. The essence of the saying lies in allowing one’s adversary to commit errors without interference, ultimately leading to their downfall. In the context of interpersonal relationships, it implies allowing the person in love to make their choices, even if they might be misguided.
But is this the right approach in matters of the heart? Should Alex stand by silently while Sarah embarks on a potentially destructive path?
To understand the wisdom behind this strategy, one must recognize the complexities of human emotions. Love can be blinding, leading people to overlook glaring flaws in their partners. Attempts to forcefully intervene may often backfire, pushing the person more profound into the relationship as they defend their choice against what they perceive as outside interference.
Instead, Alex chooses a different course of action. He remains a constant presence in Sarah’s life, offering support without judgment. He respects her autonomy, knowing everyone deserves the chance to make their own choices and learn from their mistakes. In times when Sarah opens up about the challenges she faces with Jake, Alex listens attentively, offering a sympathetic ear without giving unsolicited advice.
As time passes, the red flags that once went unnoticed become more apparent to Sarah. The charm begins to fade, and the problematic behavior intensifies. But Alex refrains from saying, “I told you so.” Instead, he continues to be there for her, ready to support her when she needs it the most.
Finally, one fateful day, Sarah reaches her breaking point. The mistreatment becomes unbearable, and she realizes the gravity of her situation. In her moment of realization, she turns to Alex, acknowledging the warning signs he had pointed out earlier. She expresses gratitude for his unwavering support and understanding.
In this tale of love, rivalry, and friendship, we discover the profound wisdom behind the adage, “Never interrupt your enemy when he/she is making a mistake.” Sometimes, allowing those we care about to experience life’s challenges on their own terms is the most powerful way to help them grow and learn.
In the end, it’s not about being right; it’s about being there—silently, steadfastly, and unconditionally—for those we love. Alex’s approach to supporting Sarah through her tumultuous journey reminds us all that love may have its ups and downs, but true friendship stands the test of time, judgment-free and ready to pick up the pieces when needed.
So, the next time you find yourself in a similar situation, be like Alex. Be the rival who watches, waits, and supports, knowing that sometimes, the most valuable lessons are learned through our own experiences, even if it means witnessing the mistakes of those we care for deeply.
Bio:
Maina Wahome is a Kenyan-born linguist, educator, author, playwright, and poet. He wields a Bachelor
of Education (B.Ed. Arts) (English and Literature) from Laikipia University (Kenya) and is currently
pursuing his M.A. in Applied Linguistics at Universitas Diponegoro, Indonesia. His publications in
linguistics have been in Phonology, Morpho-Syntax, Cognitive linguistics, and Natural Semantic
Metalanguage. He has authored a play, ‘Trouble for Sale, published by Ukiyoto publishers-canada’ three
novels, ‘Trials and Tribulations,’ ‘The Double-Edged Princess,’ (published by Academy Press-California),
and a writing academic book, ‘The Illuminator.’ He has also co-authored anthologies of poems: one with
a Zimbabwean writer Ndaba Sibanda, ‘Of Poets, Passions, Places and Paradoxes- Thou Shall Not Judge,’
and another one with a Kenyan poetess and a Nigerian poet (Musings: Values, Virtues, and Vices of
Africa and Beyond: An Anthology of African Poetry) published by Ukiyoto Publishers-India among other
publications.
