The call came through almost immediately after the text message came in, but I had already read the text that had digits and under them was written “6k recharge card from Kabiyesi”.
I answered the call and the typical voice of a Yoruba man called me daddy. Actually he called me Daaady. I was not surprised because Yoruba call people daddy as a sign of respect. He would not let me speak neither would he respond to my greetings. He kept begging me apprehensively not to load the unit. He said it was Kabiyesi that asked him to send the recharge cards to his daughter who was in school but he mistakenly sent them to me. He practically called me daaady before each word that came from his mouth not to talk of the thousand and one ‘Please’ that I had to hear.
I told him to remain calm I was not going to load them. The truth of the matter is, I had no intention of loading them even before his call came. I was very sure the digits were for call units because it was somewhat a déjà vu.
Two years ago I received a text message of digits of three thousand naira (3000) worth of airtime from an unknown number and almost immediately I received a call from the same number that texted me, speaking Idoma a language I did not understand. I told him I did not understand his language. This man almost went mad with fear that he had sent three thousand naira airtime to a stranger. He could not speak to me in that state so someone collected the phone from him yet apprehensively, and still with an Idoma intonation, begged me not to load.
I honestly did not see why they had to beg me when the digits were not meant for me. Someone’s property does not entice me. I assured them I was not going to load them. Not too long, the stranger called to thank me and much later someone I knew very well called me and told me the text message was meant for him. I was in awe to say the least. This was a young man we had not been in touch for years. He had helped me in an unbelievable way the first time we met. So I was happy that I somewhat returned the favour. He thanked me and prayed for me. He is almost done with his PhD in Turkey.
Sorry, I digressed.
The Yoruba man begged I sent back the text message to him but I told him he should just resend the digits to the person it was intended for, and I was not going to load them but he said he had thrown away the recharge cards and could not find them. So I sent back the text message to him.
Few minutes later he called me and said Kabiyesi wanted to speak to me. Perhaps he was Kabiyesi’s errand boy or whatever it is Yoruba calls it.
When Kabiyesi spoke into the phone, i heard yet a rich Yoruba mother tongue that filled my ear. Kabiyesi prayed very well for me and asked me of my name. I told him my name was Lawrence, and with that he called Lawrence a million times as he prayed for me. He said he resided in Ile-Ife and asked if I had been to Ile-Ife but I told him I had not, but I had been to Illesha. He requested I visited him someday in Ile-Ife.
“Lawrence I want to do something for you. I am the one that prays for shenitor to win elections. All the shenitor (Senator he meant) in Nigeria come to me for preiya”(Prayer)
Immediately I began to wonder what prayer it was that senators had to always go to him for. I began to smell diabolism but I wanted to know where our relationship was headed.
He told me there had not been anyone he prayed for that did not get what he wanted. Hearing that, I was no longer comfortable with the conversation yet I allowed the conversation to continue.
Kabiyesi of Ille Ife told me he wanted to rewrite my story with his prayers. I knew it was Unchristian for anyone to claim that he could give people their desired result at all times. Kabiyesi sounded as though he determined what God would do for him.
“Lawrence I am going into my prayer house to pray for you because of what you have done for me. I must return the favour.”
At the cause of our discussion, his airtime got exhausted. Well, that was what I thought. So I called him back. “Lawrence for this powerful prayer I need some items like anointing oryea (oil). So I will send you the least of items so that you can buy and send them to me or I can send you an account number so that you send the money equivalent since my assistant is about to go to the market now. He will get them quickly” That was the time I spotted the scam. That was where the emotional theatrics were heading to.
Even with that, I asked that he send me the account number and he did immediately. I wondered how he went from being on his way to his prayer house to asking for money. Kabiyesi, well, that was what he called himself kept calling me and I kept receiving and telling him I was on my way to the bank. He suggested I used Point of Sale machine but I told him I was on my way to the bank already.
I later stopped picking but he kept calling like his life depended on the money. He called till the following day. At some point, I wanted to pick and insult the daylight out of him for repaying my good with evil intention but the church boy in me would not let me.
Even if it was not a scam which clearly it was I could not send money to any soul for prayers.
I still have Kabiyesi’s number and sometimes I look at 07045693013 wondering if I should call him and play dump so that he feels bad a dumb person made him look dumber. Or maybe I should call him and say “Kabiyesi u be big name. Stop humiliating yourself and your subjects.” Maybe not.
I have learnt the hard way. So you have to come up with a genius of a plan to get me. Maybe hypnosis.
Otherwise Never again!
Once bitten, twice shy.
