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November 14, 2026 - 1:27 AM

THIEF CATCH THIEF

—

I want to tell you a story:
It is a true story I want to tell you, again; my friend
If I am lying, may Saint Thomas and Appolos punish me!
I saw this one myself, not inside one of my dreams;
I did not read it from inside a book:
It happened right inside my bedroom.

Look how thief go catch thief!
Listen; let me tell you of these thieves:
Last Saturday, the last day of the year,
Late in the middle of the night
Ladi my wife heard a sound.

Wadi! Wadi! She whispered,
Wake up and listen: Shut up and listen!
With widened eyes and ears, seconds went, a minute
Went, and I heard the door clicking, and footsteps.
When did spirits develop long legs?

I listened again and scratched my ears and eyes.
I ran to the door, listened, and flung the bed over Ladi.
I picked, counted and dumped my rosary, and took up my machete.
I waited to hear more sounds and
I gave my life to Christ when the door’s lock clicked.

Suddenly, the roof started to open.
Sardines I had poisoned for rats had not been eaten.
Sound after sound, loud sounds came from the roof.
Savior God had received my life over and over.
Soon, the roof gave way; the door was flung wide open.

I waited for the action, for words, for judgement!
I did not have shi-shi to give to anyone; I owed nobody:
I rather died than watch anything happen to Ladi!
In hiding, I could hear her soft breathing, the hush air.
I watched the two men staring at each other.

-Man at the Door – Boy! What you do for this man room?
-Man at the Roof – Master! I think say your spirit I see!

Man at the Door- Yes! This, I am, now spirit: Answer me!
Man at the Roof- I am also spirit, very soon, I will disappear.
Man Door- Disappear now, I see you! Now! Quick!
Me, Wadi, I hid watching all these:
Me, Wadi, not knowing if I was a-sleeping.
My finger touch the machete blade,
My way of testing its sharpness, if I was alive.
My wife Ladi was quietly listening.

The two men turned and looked at me.
The roof man looked familiar.
The shorts on his waist told me he was a policeman.
The gun the door man held was a police rifle.
They were both spirits and thieves.

Umunna Victor C.

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