I have shied away from domestic violence issues for a long time but I have gotten a revelation that I have to embrace the realities of our times.
I have to embrace the fact that many of the people stuck in abusive relationships think they are in love or are ashamed that the love they once had, has broken down irretrievably in their presence.
They are in dire need to retrieve the beauty they once shared as a couple. The unity, the love and the happiness.
They take the physical assault in the hope that the man would realize his bad behaviour and change for the better. They love him regardless of his many flaws. They want to be with him in as much as every punch sends them closer to their graves.
To that woman reading this, forgive me for my incorrigible stance and inability to know why you are still stuck in that dead-end relationship.
Please forgive me. I have also had my fair share of DV in relationships in my early years. Probably because of the years that have elapsed, I am now oblivious of the seemingly good reasons women are stuck in such ugliness.
Agree or not, the true reason women are stuck in violent relationships is the lack of regard for themselves.
There is a sense of unworthiness these women feel. They think that they are whole and worthy only when they are married or in a relationship.
They think marriage validates them as individuals. They think being in a relationship is the only thing that can make them upright women. Some stay for the kids but that is endangering the lives of the kids as well.
Social correctness does little for us. Let’s look deep and find out who we are. We are beautiful, intelligent and resourceful women. We can make it on our own. We came to this world alone and alone will we go.
Having someone to share our lives with is beautiful but sharing lives should never include a punch, a blow and a knockout. NEVER!
If you are that woman and you are embarrassed about what people will say. You hide your wounds and bruises with makeup and a smile. It may not be long before you may not be able to hide it again and it will be in the full glare of the public.
The only snag is that you may not even be there to witness and defend yourself.
Think deep, love your self senseless.
Katchy Ohiaeri, 2020