Forgiveness does not mean that what happened was okay; it means you are choosing not to let it destroy you. Often, forgiveness is incredibly challenging, but letting go of the hurt and pain is where true healing begins.
It’s important to understand that forgiveness is not for the other person; it’s for you. It allows you to release the negative emotions that hold you back, freeing yourself from the chains of resentment and anger. Choosing to forgive is primarily for your own well-being. It enables you to live a healthier life, think clearly, and be more productive. You will find it easier to connect with others, and you will likely have more friends than enemies. It helps your heart continue to function positively, rather than stop every time you see the person who offended you or remember their actions. Indeed, choosing forgiveness over resentment and anger is the best option.
Many people believe forgiveness should be the last resort—how will the person who hurt you know that their actions were wrong otherwise? They think revenge should come next, but this mindset only harms you more than it helps. You’re not punishing anyone but yourself; your soul suffers as a result. How you deal with offense significantly impacts your emotional well-being.
Ignoring the offenders is another common reaction. However, if you continuously ignore everyone who has hurt you, how will you build and foster relationships? Remember, as a social being, you are meant to relate and interact with others. If your approach is to ignore everyone, how can you grow and understand people better?
You may discover that the person who offended you continues to live their life as if nothing happened while you remain stuck in pain. They walk freely, while you carry the burden of hurt. The weight of unresolved pain cannot be healed through any medication. You may struggle to concentrate whenever you see the person or whenever thoughts of them cross your mind.
Some believe that not discussing the offense will help it leave your heart, but it doesn’t work that way. Bottling up your feelings only causes more pain. If you can’t overlook an offense or are unable to forgive, speak up. Learn to express your feelings to the other party, and try to resolve the issue. Suppressing pain and grievances will only lead to deeper emotional damage.
While it may be difficult to completely forget an offense, forgiveness allows you to heal. Over time, when you remember the event, it can be without the sting of hurt. Open yourself up to healing and consider confiding in someone who can help if you’re struggling to move on.
Forgiving someone does not mean you condone their wrongdoing or appreciate their bad behavior. Remember that friends, family, spouses, and trusted acquaintances will, at some point, offend you because we are all human and no one is perfect. What may seem serious to you might not be viewed the same way by someone else. Learn to view people with compassion and try to understand their actions. This mindset helps you, not them, and is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
Take a moment to reflect on any offenses you have endured, and consider taking the steps necessary to speak up and reconcile. Allow your soul to find peace
