It is always said that great men are made by even greater women. These women come either as wives or mother, or as both, on very rare occasions.
Nigeria’s patriarchal prejudices and paternalistic tendencies also make certain to paint the failure of a child as a failure of the mother and cast a man’s failure as that of his wife.
With these extremely narrow prisms, everything that happens to a man or boy is cast as a woman’s failure, with the buck ultimately stopping at the woman’s table. This kind of mentality precludes personal responsibility, harms women, and ensures the continuity of a blame game that is as baleful as it is dangerous.
At 81, former military dictator Ibrahim Babangida recently left his quiet existence at the Minna hilltop mansion to resume his place in Nigeria’s limelight. His autobiography titled “A journey of Service” which was unveiled on February 20 to an audience of some of Nigeria’s most powerful people, may have been variously described as a journey of self-service and disservice by Nigerians, but there is no doubt that the history of Nigeria as it is today cannot be written without him. In fact, there are many who believe that for the colossal misstep of annulling the 1993 election, IBB, as he is fondly called, will be up there as Nigeria’s best president.
In his autobiography, he paid glowing tributes to his wife, who died of ovarian cancer in 2009. Death is inevitable, but there are people who shine forth even in death. If IBB was such a strong force in the military and politics of Nigeria, despite sharply dividing opinion, it was because he had a stable woman by his side, one who shared his dreams even if not his devilish brutality.
In her quiet way and manner, Maryam Babangida was a force to reckon with. Women occupied prime place at the heart of the woman who arguably had the greatest influence on Nigeria’s most eccentric military administrator.
She was instrumental in the conception and construction of the National Center for Women Development, a project she embarked upon to show her bottomless passion for women.
Her Better Life Program for African Rural women project was also revolutionary in the history of Nigeria for putting women at the forefront. As a women’s woman, many of those she mentored and empowered, like Abike Dabiri and Folarunsho Alakija are still up and running today.
Babangida has also revealed how her sixth sense saved him from certain death at the hands of the coup plotters led by General Gideon Orkar in 1990. She was the first to notice unusual movements and alerted her husband.
Maryam hailed from Asaba in Delta State.In October 1967, in the heat of the Nigerian civil war, one of the most enduring atrocities committed during the civil war happened in Asaba. Over five hundred men and boys were massacred by Nigerian troops with many women raped. Maryam was instrumental in healing some of her people’s in wounds when Babaginda created Delta State on 27th August 1991, and designated Asaba as its state capital.
Maryam died in 2009, but the fact that her children have largely stayed out of the limelight attests to the work and attention she put into raising them despite being married to the most powerful dictator Nigeria ever had.
As Nigeria joins the rest of the world to commemorate International Women’s Day, a woman who played such a key role in Nigerian politics during some of its wildest days remains an inspiration and a shinning example for Nigerian women.
Ike Willie-Nwobu,
