Not a geographical territory, but an idea-space carved out of conscience, competence, and the stubborn insistence that governance should not be a circus. It is a young nation, minted from the frustrations of citizens who finally discovered their voices and refused to return them to silence.
And in this new country, a curious appointment has just been announced: Reno Omokri, posted as its first Attacking Dog Ambassador.
What a curious role!
What an astonishing mismatch.
What a glorious satire on modern politics. For every nation has its diplomats—those who carry olive branches and craft treaties. Those who hold brief for their home government and represent their interests in the best possible way with honor, integrity, and candour.
But this one? Attacking Dog Ambassador Reno was chosen to export noise, whose trade route is outrage, and whose currency is contradiction packaged as crusade. A man who once claimed to champion justice but somehow always finds his teeth the moment Peter Obi’s name is mentioned, as though that very name is a bone tossed into the air.
In the Republic of Peter Obi, where integrity is the constitution and accountability is the national anthem, such an ambassador stands out like a vuvuzela in a string quartet. His mission? Not peacekeeping. Not bridge-building. But barking—loudly, frequently, and sometimes without provocation.
Yet, ironically, the more he barks, the more he advertises the very nation he tries to belittle. Each growl is a billboard. Each snarl is free publicity. Each attack, unintentionally, becomes a reminder that Peter Obi is a force so compelling that even his critics cannot help circling him like moths around a lamp they secretly fear will expose them.
While its newly appointed Attacking Dog Ambassador rends the air with commentary in a fake and malicious garment, the danger is in Reno’s ability to betray the very person who appointed him.
Years ago, he called him a drug lord, very sick to rule a nation. His ability to turn 360 degrees to deny and lick up his vomit as if nothing happened remains something of a worry and great concern. History may well remember this appointment not as an insult to the sensitivity of Nigerians, but as unintentional comedy, a joke that would expose Nigeria as a well-crafted joke by a drunk in the bar.
Jarlathuche@gmail.com
