You want let Go of Your Ex but you Can’t Stop Going Back for the Sex

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There is this friend I had; she had a boyfriend that disrespected her a lot. They started dating from our first year in the university; he was her first love; she had her first sex with him; they virtually did everything together. With time, it was as though the romance dwindled. We were in our final year when my friend discovered that her boyfriend was actually cheating on her. On confrontation, the guy bluntly denied. Aside the fact that the guy started being sneaky, he stopped being the kind of guy my friend fell in love with. He stopped calling her often, stopped returning her calls, and stopped making efforts to see her. He treated her with much disregard that left me wondering where their perfect “love” vanished to.

You know, it is never easy to let go of your first love. I have been there; it always seems as though you can never love any other person. So, you keep hoping and doing all you can to get them back. My friend did all she could to no avail until she finally broke it off with him. In a way, I was actually happy for her. I gave her all the motivational speech I had stored up in my head; told her to focus more on her dreams and with time the right guy will come. But just two weeks after she broke it off with him, she was back in his arms moaning with his penis hitting the right spot.  When I asked her why she decided to go back to her ex, her reply was, “I love the sex. He knows how to bring out the bitch in me. I think I have been dickmatised”.

Dickmatised? Lol, I laughed so hard when she used this word. It was my first time hearing such word though. According to her, “When a lady is dickmatised, she keeps going back to her ex for the sex no matter how toxic their relationship had been”.

When she explained all these to me, I shrugged it off and told her there was no way someone in her right senses would keep going back to their ex who treated them with so much disregard all because he knows how to hit the right spot during love making. I was naïve, so I didn’t really understand how these stuffs happen. But over the years and from experience, I have come to realize how wrong I was.

Most times, we would be truly ready to detach ourselves emotionally from a toxic relationship but still find ourselves still going back over and over again for that orgasmic feeling. We tell ourselves that we have had enough of their unfaithful ass, their disrespectful ways,  and their trashy behavior, but our bodies keep yearning for their touch that the moment their message pops up in our phone, it lights up your sexual desire.

It is not out of place to feel this way though especially when you find someone whose fingers stir up the widest fire in the most intimate places. In as much as your mind may know that it is time to ditch the relationship and move on but then, every single “Hi” from them messes up our whole plan. Truth is, it is not easy for the mind to forget the memories of the long nights and hot days of passionate lovemaking. There is no doubt that great sex make people act unreasonably; it makes us stay with people we should cut off in our lives. People literally make the dumbest decisions when great sex is involved.

But then, no matter how much you wish to stop going back for the sex, no matter how much you hope to meet someone else who will love you to the fullness, feed your love-starved heart and touch your body in a way you know or even better, these wishes wouldn’t come to pass if you don’t block your ex. That should be the first step you should take after the toxic relationship. It is not easy but you have to do that if you really want to move on – block them on all social media, delete their contact from your phone, blacklist their numbers so they can’t get in touch with you again, delete the pictures you snapped together.

When you do all these and be disciplined enough to keep them blocked, you will certainly find a way to move on. You should equally keep your mind occupied; keep yourself busy and surround yourself with good friends.

Doing all these will certainly not erase their memory from your mind; they will not stop your body from yearning for their touch that whenever you crave for orgasm, he or she will be the first name that comes to your mind but when all channels of communication are blocked, it will pave way for you to move on quickly.

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