Trust is one of the strongest elements that hold a relationship. When your partner cheats on you, it shatters that glass of trust and it is not always easy to get it fixed no matter how guilty and remorseful they feel. My boyfriend once cheated on me. You know that feeling when you are in bed all cuddled up with your supposed lover and his phone buzzes; he excuses himself to go answer the call. My curiosity got the best of me and I quietly followed him to the sitting room where he picked the call. Listening to him make arrangement with some other girl on how he will be coming over to her apartment later in the night felt like my heart was being yanked off my body. Here I was thinking our love was forever but he can’t wait to be in the arms of another girl.
I felt betrayed; the pain was indescribable. At first, I wanted to let it slide but since I wasn’t the kind of person that keeps my pain locked, I decided to let it out. I confronted him and surprisingly, he admitted that he has been cheating on me. He got down on his knees and asked for forgiveness. Truthfully, he was remorseful and promised not to let it happen again. I avoided him for a few days but we eventually got back together. I gave him another chance hoping we could work things out. You know the saying, “Forgive and forget?” it is easier said than done.
Sincerely, I forgave him but I wasn’t able to forget the pains. Each time he wrapped his hands around me, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the other girl. Day in, day out, I was practically trying to save a relationship that was already broken.
I learnt my lessons the hard way though. You can never fix a broken glass of trust. So, here are some of the reasons why you should never date an unfaithful partner.
- The cheating wasn’t a mistake;
You know this cliché saying that cheating was a mistake? It is totally a big lie. Nobody accidentally cheats. They weren’t blindfolded when they kissed and made love to someone else. Their sense weren’t yanked off their brain. They were totally aware of what they were doing but did it anyway. So, it wasn’t a mistake. Do not believe that lie.
- They took you for a fool;
The fact that they were playing around with someone else behind your back and thought you are too dumb to find out show how little they think of you. They took you for a fool and I am sure you will not enjoy staying with someone that takes you for a fool.
- The memory will forever haunt you;
No matter how much you try to push away the memory, it will always find a way to sneak back. It doesn’t go away. You can’t get over the hurt and shock so easily and no matter how hard you try, you will always find yourself bringing up the topic. There was this my friend that found that that his girlfriend kissed some other guy. He eventually forgave her but each time he wants to kiss and make out with her, he unintentionally holds himself back because his memory immediately becomes clouded. He unintentionally imagines his girl kissing another guy. He couldn’t help it.
And funny thing is, once your partner cheats on you, it awakens the FBI agent in you. You become suspicious of their every move. You go to bed every night thinking of what they are doing; who they are with or where they are. You give yourself sleepless night over nothing.
- The glass of trust can’t be fixed;
There is this saying that is one hundred percent true. It says, “It takes years to build a trust castle but a second to shatter it”. When you are in a relationship that lacks trust, it is a complete waste of time and energy. You find yourself checking your partner’s chat history with the opposite sex. Whenever they are out, you wonder if they are in the arms of someone else. Things like these messes with your psych and you deserve better. You can’t be depriving yourself of the peace of mind that you deserve.
- Your level of confidence dwindles;
Finding out about your cheating lover has a way of making you feel like a failure. You become insecure and your confidence level is reduced to zero. You start thinking of stuffs like, maybe I am not a good kisser, maybe my penis is too small for her, maybe I don’t add enough value to her, maybe he doesn’t value me that much. No matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to get rid of the “Maybes” that will keep creeping in to your head.
Finding out about your cheating lover has a way of making you feel like a fool and you ask yourself, “How could I be this daft?” you gave yourself sleepless night imagining how beautiful your future will be with them in in while in reality, their arms were wrapped around someone else; their lips behind their ears whispering sweet nothings. They totally took you off the picture; replaced you with someone else while leading you on. They stab you in the back and use the same knife to butter your bread. How painful could that be?
- They will never change;
I know they probably told you that they will turn a new leave and they wouldn’t cheat again but trust me, they will. There is this saying that, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. It simply means that if your lover had the effrontery to go behind your back and mess around with someone else which you later found out, giving them a second chance without actually talking about why they cheated at the first place gives them room to cheat on you again. Don’t get me wrong, I know some cheaters actually change but it depends on how both parties handled the fact that one of them cheated. It is always better to know why your partner cheated.