She works long hours and is accused of neglecting her family.
She stays at home and is called lazy and unambitious.
She struggles with mental health, but they say she’s just being dramatic.
When she’s assertive at work, she’s labeled difficult to work with.
She gets a divorce to escape abuse, and somehow she’s blamed for breaking the family apart.
She chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, and they say she’s wasting her education.
If she’s ambitious and career-focused, she’s told she’s too aggressive and will never find a husband.
When she dresses modestly, she’s deemed too conservative and boring.
If she chooses not to have children, she’s considered selfish and unnatural.
She gains weight after childbirth, and they say she let herself go.
If she’s physically attractive, they assume she’s using her looks to get ahead.
If she’s divorced, the assumption is she can’t keep a man.
If she was raped, they question what she was wearing.
In a childless marriage, they assume she’s barren.
If she doesn’t give birth to a male child, they say it’s her fault there’s no son in her womb.
If she’s rich and independent, they accuse her of being a prostitute.
If her child misbehaves, it’s the mother’s fault for spoiling him.
If she wants to play sports, she’s told that’s not her purpose in life because she’s a girl.
If she’s single and drives a car, they say she’ll scare away suitors.
If she speaks her mind, she’s called too bossy.
If she’s unmarried in her 30s or 40s, they claim she must be irresponsible.
When she’s married, she becomes her husband’s property.
When her spouse cheats, they say it’s her fault; she must have driven him to it.
If she’s widowed, they whisper that she killed him to take his property.
If she remarries, they say she didn’t mourn her late husband long enough.
If she’s a victim of domestic abuse, people ask, “What did she do?”
It’s exhausting. A woman is blamed for everything. At every turn, her choices are questioned, her worth diminished, and her voice silenced. It’s not easy being a woman in this world.
This relentless monologue of blaming women for everything must change.
Today, I celebrate the girls in the background, the ones who are overlooked and undervalued by society. Their struggles, their perseverance, and their quiet strength deserve recognition.
I celebrate you, the girl who cannot afford sanitary pads and must use pieces of mattress between your thighs as you head to the market to sell fish.
I celebrate you, the woman who bravely walks away from a toxic marriage, choosing your children’s safety and your own mental well-being over societal expectations.
I celebrate you, who may not have earned high grades in school but are still thriving, proving yourself in a world that unjustly deems you a failure.
I celebrate you, the girl who fled home, escaping the fate of being married off to an old, sick man, choosing freedom and a future of your own making.
I celebrate you, the single mother who carries the weight of two, tirelessly providing for yourself and your children with grace and strength while society mocks you for being the parent that stayed.
I celebrate you, the girl who stands alone yet chooses life and hope every single day.
I celebrate you, who keeps showing up even when you doubt your own efforts and overlook your own strength.
I celebrate you, without a degree, a master’s, or any formal certification, yet still making ends meet with determination, skill, and hard work.
I celebrate you, the girl with so much to say, even if you haven’t yet found the language to fully express yourself.
I celebrate you, the girl who cares for her siblings as if they were your own, giving up your own dreams so theirs can flourish.
I celebrate you, the girl who battles illness in silence, pushing through pain and fear with resilience no one else can see.
I celebrate you, the girl who has faced abuse yet still stands strong, reclaiming your worth and your power, piece by piece.
I celebrate you, the girl who speaks out in a world that tries to silence you, standing firm for what is right even when the cost is high.
I celebrate you, the girl who has lost everything, yet continues to rebuild, choosing courage over despair.
I celebrate you, the girl who moves to the city for opportunity, facing loneliness and uncertainty but forging a path with bravery.
I celebrate you, the girl who raises your voice in protest, demanding justice and equality for yourself and others, even when your words tremble.
I celebrate you, the girl who supports your community quietly, without seeking recognition, giving from a heart full of love and compassion.
I celebrate you, the girl who mourns privately, holding your grief with dignity while still offering kindness to others.
I celebrate you, the girl who dreams big in the face of adversity, refusing to let circumstances define the limits of your potential.
In a world that constantly questions, diminishes, and undervalues women, I see you.
I see the unspoken battles you fight daily.
I see the sacrifices you make, the dreams you pursue, the strength you wield, even when it’s inconvenient or goes unnoticed.
I see your resilience.
And today, I honor your strength, your stories, and your unyielding spirit. You are a beacon of hope. You are the future.
I see you.
And today, on the International Day of the Girl Child, I acknowledge your existence. I recognize that your worth is not defined by society’s narrow expectations. I understand the courage it takes to simply exist in a world that constantly pushes you to conform.
Your struggles are valid, your efforts are meaningful, and your dreams are important.
I celebrate you, the girl who refuses to settle for less than she deserves, even when it means standing alone.
I celebrate you, the girl who challenges the status quo, who speaks up for what she believes in, and who dares to dream beyond the limitations others have set for her.
To the girls who are rarely celebrated, to the women who are often overlooked know that you are seen. Know that your existence matters, and your stories are worth telling.
You are not alone.
Feel seen and loved today. Celebrate yourself and the path you’ve walked, the storms you’ve weathered, and the light you continue to carry. You are the heartbeat of this world, and your contributions, no matter how quiet, are invaluable.
Today, I celebrate you.
Stephanie Shaakaa.
University of Agriculture, Makurdi, Benue state
shaakaastephanie@yahoo.com
