Regarding Mmesoma’s plea and her parents’ accomplice

I know for certain, that some of my readers, especially my good friend and brother (in FFK’s voice) — Barr. Ezugwu Okike will frown at this late commentary on the exam result forgery scandal by Ms. Mmesoma Ejikeme of Anglican Girls Secondary School Nnewi. “Always hit the iron while it is hot” is Okike’s usual admonition to me, whenever I cut to the chase late. But that’s because I don’t like preempting our miry judicial process, neither do I court public reactions. And that’s why I always wait to see the denouement of a trending issue, to make an informed commentary.

Being a reliable current affairs analyst in Nigeria is precarious. Once a developing news feature occurs, every analyst will like to mould opinions roundabout it, but then, the authority concerned would subvert the case the “Nigerian way.” “In Mmesoma’s case, those who rushed to condemn the JAMB (perhaps out of sympathy for her naive, young, and innocent outlook) later discovered they were wrong when the Babe reneged and admitted to forging her Unified Tertiary Matriculations Examination (UTME) results.”

Though the case seems to have reached its logical end, the lessons thereof will continue to prick the consciences of all Nigerian parents worthy of the name.

This scandal should serve as a wake-up call to parents and society at large to re-evaluate the values we instill in our children.

Nigerian parents, like many others around the world, often emphasize academic excellence as the ultimate goal for their children. While education is crucial, the relentless pursuit of high grades and accolades at the expense of inculcation of values, impedes extolation virtues and can sometimes overshadow the importance of developing character and integrity.

Such overemphasis has a lot downsides.

When success is purely measured by academic brilliance, a dangerous precedent is set. Students begin to believe that their worth is solely dependent on their test scores and academic accolades. This mindset can lead to dishonest practices, such as Ms. Ejikeme’s case, where forging results seemed like an acceptable means to an end. In the first video clip she released to draw public sympathy to validate that she “truly” didn’t forge the results and that the grades were hers, she gleefully said: “I’ve been a brilliant person from time. And I’ve been taking first positions all my life.” Immediately I heard it, I cleared the faint doubt in my mind that she is “guilty as charged.”

Perhaps it was in a desperate move to retain her accustomed “first position” that led her into the infamy. And while she found herself in that hole, instead of stopping the digging, she digged deeper in her obstinacy to pull a cover-up. I blame her parents in the whole incident. If they had looked beyond her academic excellence, all these years, they would have discovered that their daughter is developing a flawed character that needs re-orientation.

Character and integrity are qualities that define an individual’s moral compass. Without these virtues, no amount of academic titles can guarantee fruitfulness, satisfaction and internal happiness in life. Teaching our children the significance of honesty, respect, empathy, and responsibility will shape them into well-rounded individuals who contribute positively to society.

Teach yours children, like Donald Romsfeld advised that in life: “there are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know.” We can not be all-knowing as humans. The essence of our “humanness” is that there are situations, knowledges or phenomenon that are beyond us. Acquainting our kids with this existential truism will help them decipher when to stop, when to call it over and when to relentlessly push further if need be.

In the highly published letter to his son’s teacher, the 16th President of America — Abraham Lincoln asked the teacher to teach his son that: “10 cents earned is of far more value than a dollar found. In school, teach him, it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to learn how to gracefully lose, and enjoy winning when he does win.”

Parents have a crucial role to play in nurturing their children’s character and integrity. They can encourage academic excellence by cultivating a love for learning, teaching time management skills, and providing necessary support. However, it is equally important for parents to create an environment that promotes ethical behaviour, empathy, and moral values. It is more important they critically police their kids’ sense of industry, ambition and contentment as they transit from childhood to adolescence and into adulthood.

Usually practical steps for character development for parents includes leading by example: Children observe and learn from their parents. In a 45 minutes flight, two mothers, each with her kid sat next to each other. One struggled to have control of her mobile device as her kid kept snatching it, the other was enjoying hers while her kid calmly flipped through educational images of a teen magazine.

Startled, the first woman asked her fellow: “How do you manage to keep him glued to his book, while you use your phone?”

“Our kids simple emulate us more than taking our instructions. He learnt to read more than play with mobile devices, since that was my pattern of life too” retorted the other. “Over time he had acquainted his memory that reading books was a preferred pastime than flexing with mobile devices” she continued.

It points to the fact that it is essential for parents to exhibit integrity and good character in their own lives.

Another essential apparatus is open-ended communications. Actively engage in conversations with your children about values, ethical dilemmas, and the consequences of dishonesty. This will help them develop critical thinking and make informed decisions.

Encouraging involvement in community service among young people, for engaging in volunteer work and community service projects can enhance empathy, compassion, and a sense of responsibility in children.

Teaching them resilience and perseverance will undoubtedly be of greater essence as they metamorphose to independent adulthood. While academic challenges are inevitable, it is crucial to teach children the value of resilience, determination, and the ability to learn from mistakes.

There is a reason why civil Law permits that a parent or guardian of a culprit be taken into custody, in cases of evasion of justice. Parents take some responsibility for their children and/or wards. Mmesoma’s parents should be bold enough to own up a chunk of the burden of their daughter’s missteps that culminated in this public opprobrium.

It is a common phrase in Igbo that “onye nna ya zigara ori ji ukwu agbawa uzo” (parent’s permissiveness emboldens a child’s criminal tendency). Nsukka dialectal adage went further to state that: “Uta nwanchi gbar’ bu onye ogerenyi kwor’ ye” (with the guidance of parents, every child is an accurate arrow shooter). Good parents stand in the gap of conflict between nature and nurture, to offer their children the path of honour.

A rude reminder, Ms. Mmesoma’s situation emphasizes that beyond the border of scholarship, we must give equal importance to character-building alongside academic pursuits. Parents should strive to create a balanced approach, nurturing both academic excellence and values that will shape their children’s characters. By instilling integrity, we equip our children with the essential qualities needed to succeed, not only in their educational journeys but also in their future roles as responsible citizens of our society.