Marry Those Among You Who Are Single!

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. He guides His obedient servants to His love and admits the doers of good to His Paradise. I bear witness that there is no deity save Allah, having no associates. I also bear witness that our Master Muhammad is the Servant of Allah and His Messenger. May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, his pure blessed family and companions, and all those who follow them in righteousness till the Day of Judgment.
Dear brothers and sisters! Please I want you to consider the following Noble Hadith on the virtue of the land of Sham (Greater Syria), which I like to mention a lot. The Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“While I was sleeping, I saw the Column of the Book (the Noble Qur’an) being taken away from under my headrest. I began to fear lest Allah the Almighty had abandoned the people of the earth. My eyes followed the Column of the Book. It was a brilliant light in front of me. Then I saw it was placed in the land of Sham.” [Ahmad in his Musnad]
The recent events confirm the truthfulness of the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, since as Allah the Almighty says:
“He does not speak of his own desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired.” [Surah An-Najm, 3-4]
* Lusts have neutral nature
Dear brothers and sisters! It goes without saying that Allah, Glorified and Exalted be He, has put desires inside man, so that he will be exalted in ranks in two ways. The first one is when he is patient (when he abstains from fulfilling illegal desires), and the other one is when he is grateful to Allah the Almighty for allowing him to fulfill his desires in Halal (legal) way. Thus, lusts are neutral; they can be means to sublime to the highest ranks, or means to hit rock bottom and reach the lowest of low since man has the free will. Some of these lusts which are deeply rooted inside man’s heart are mentioned in the following Noble Qur’anic verse, in which Allah the Almighty says:
“Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, much of gold and silver (wealth), branded beautiful horses, cattle and well-tilled land. This is the pleasure of the present world’s life.” [Surah Ali-Imran, 14]
In fact, there is a lawful and pure way to fulfill every lust Allah the Almighty has created inside man. Thus, you can be assured that there is no deprivation in fulfilling desires in Islam, but rather Islam is based on controlling desires, on chastity, loftiness and sublimity.
* The worrying spread of moral depravity all over the world
Dear brothers and sisters! The western countries are trying to impose their immoral values on us. As I keep repeating: In the colonial era, they used to make us do whatever they wanted by force of arms, but nowadays, they do not only make us do whatever they want, but also they make us want what they want (they influence our behaviour and morals) by the fairer gender; the woman. Consider the following Noble Qur’anic verse which is about this great corruption that has spread all over the world. Allah the Almighty says:
“Evil (sins and disobedience of Allah, etc.) has appeared on land and sea because of what the hands of men have earned (by oppression and evil deeds, etc.), that Allah may make them taste a part of that which they have done, in order that they may return (by repenting to Allah, and begging His Pardon).” [Surah Ar-Rum, 41]
Dear brothers and sisters! According to the statistics of white slavery, which are really shocking, 700,000 women are victims of human trafficking for the purpose of sexual slavery each year, either contentedly, deceivably or forcibly. Thus, moral corruption has appeared all over the world.
In an effort to prevent and combat this type of corruption, some of our noble brothers and sisters founded an organisation called “Chastity” (whose purpose is to help young people get married and live a descent life). I attended its opening ceremony. Thus, there are still some amazingly good people in our blessed country. This confirms the truthfulness of the words of the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, when he said:
“The parable of my Ummah is that of a rain; it is not known if its beginning is better or its end.” [At-Tirmidhi]
* Encouraging marriage to protect young people  is a top priority
Dear brothers and sisters! Know that, one of the biggest problems the Muslim world faces and that should be given top priority is the problem of young people. The energy of young people are like a time bomb; unless we take care of them and help them achieve their ambitions according to Islamic teachings, they will cause the destruction of this Ummah (Islamic nation). In other words, dear brothers and sisters, unless the wisest, the richest and the most powerful people in our Ummah care about this stratum, it will remain vulnerable to delinquency, since there are about 23 million pornographic sites on the Internet, and 8.00 satellite channels; one quarter of these channels are broadcasting pornography 24 hours a day. Thus, unless we protect our young people from delinquency and moral deviation, we will run into a grave problem.
Dear brothers and sisters! According to logic, we should put our problems in order of importance, and this is what those unbelievingly generous noble brothers and sisters who founded “Chastity” organisation have done. Their main concern is to solve the problems of the youth, since they are the present, the future, the live wire and the backbone of our Ummah. Moreover, the strength and the power of our Ummah lie in them. It was narrated that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“The fragrance of Paradise comes from young people.”
There is nothing more beloved to Allah the Almighty than the young man who turns to Him with repentance. This call is addressed to the most powerful.
* We need help from the knowledgeable people in our Ummah
I address the most knowledgeable and rational individuals in our Ummah as well as intellectuals, those in authority and parents: unless we care about our young people and try to find a solution to their problems, we are following the way which will lead us to certain destruction. As the wise poet said:
“It is only because of high moral standards that nations prosper,
Once they lose their moral values,
They will be following the way to their own destruction.”
Dear brothers and sisters! It goes without saying that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, did not speak out of his own education, opinion, meditation or deduction, but rather it was (Divine) Inspiration revealed to him. Allah the Almighty says:
“Nor does he speak of (his own) desire. It is only an Inspiration that is inspired.”
* Give your daughters in marriage to those you admire their morals and religious commitment
Abu Hatim Al-Muzni narrated that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“If there comes to you one with whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.” [At-Tirmidhi in his Sunan]
If you do not do that, will males no more think of having relationship with females? Never, but rather they will fulfill their sexual desires through illegal ways. Namely, when those who have weak and feeble faith find themselves unable to fulfill their desires through Halal (legal) ways, they may fulfill them through Haram (illegal) ways. The Prophet, may Allah Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
I wish it were not true, but during a ministerial meeting, a government official asserted that there are about 70,000 brothels in one of our Nigerian cities, which is frightening.
The Prophet, may Allah Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“If there comes to you one whose character and religious commitment you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.”
Dear brothers and sisters! Unfortunately, our society has reached this state of immorality and moral corruption.
* Marriage is the Sunnah (practice) of the Noble Prophets
First of all, dear brothers and sisters! Marriage is the Sunnah (practice) of the Noble Prophets, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon them. Allah the Almighty says:
“…and made for them wives and offspring.” [Surah Ar-Ra’ad, 38]
Also, the Mother of Believers Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salah and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me.” [Agreed upon]
Thus, marriage is Sunnah of the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him. Furthermore, Allah the Almighty says:
“And marry the Ayama (those among you who are single, i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves).” [Surah An-Nur, 32]
In Arabic, the Ayama is the plural of Ayyim which means the single person, whether male or female. Allah the Almighty says:
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Salihun (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves).” [Surah An-Nur, 32]
Dear respected servants of Allah! What does this Noble Qur’anic verse mean when it is addressed to the society as a whole? It means those in authority, politicians, traditional leaders, wealthy people, powerful people and leaders are responsible for removing the obstacles standing in young people’s way to get married as well as everything that distracts them from doing acts of obedience to Allah the Almighty. As the saying goes:
“Sometimes, the leader’s authority has more influence and impact on people’s life than the Noble Qur’an.”
(i.e. sometimes when the leader enjoins what is good and forbids what is wrong using his authority, some people who have weak faith abide by his orders more than they abide by the orders of the Noble Qur’an).
* Among women’s best act of worship is to help young men preserve their chastity
Dear brothers and sisters! The young woman’s best act of worship ever is helping young men to preserve their chastity by wearing decent clothes that conceal her physical charms in front of men. If the woman who displays her beauty and body in public without having any evil intention, and she just follows the latest fashion trends knows how many young people are fascinated by her beauty, how many young people deviate from the straight path, and how many young people commit major sins because of her, she may refrain from exposing her body and beauty.
One of my brothers in faith told me that he watched a TV interview with an African Arab young man who was accused of raping young women then killing them. He killed over 12 young women, so a social researcher asked the permission of the Minister of the Interior to make a TV interview with him. That criminal was utterly ignorant; he was illiterate, and he knew nothing about the teachings of Islam. Furthermore, he did not even know how to recite Surah Al-Fatiha or the Kalimah ash-Shahada (to bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is His Messenger). When that social researcher asked him about the root cause of his crimes, he answered, “It is the indecent clothes of young women.”
Unfortunately, there is a new social phenomenon which is called “Men experiencing sexual harassment by women.” Accordingly, when women reveal their charm in public, they seem to be committing sexual harassment against men, not by words or acts but by their seductive clothes (as if they are instigating men to rape them). Allah the Almighty says:
“(And) if you (Muslims of the whole world collectively) do not do so (i.e. become allies, as one united block with one Khalifah – chief Muslim leader for the whole Muslim world to make victorious Allah’s Religion of Islamic Monotheism), there will be Fitnah (wars, battles, polytheism, etc.) and oppression on earth, and a great mischief and corruption (appearance of polytheism).” [Surah Al-Anfal, 73]
On the other hand, the woman who wears decent clothes, concealing her beauty and body in front of non-Mahram men is a truly righteous woman. Not to mention, she has a high rank in the Sight of Allah the Almighty, and she will enter Paradise before men. It was mentioned that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“The first one who opens the gate of Paradise is me, but there will be a woman who struggles with me to enter Paradise before me. Then I said, “O Jibril, who is she?” He said, “She is a woman whose husband died and left children behind, so she refused to remarry because of her children (she prefers to raise up her children to getting married).”
Such a woman will try to enter Paradise before the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him. Actually, just as fighting in the Cause of Allah the Almighty is prescribed only for men, there is an act of worship which is only prescribed for women, and I called it ‘helping young men preserve their chastity through wearing Hijab and dressing modestly.’
Dear brothers and sisters! When a woman wears Hijab as well as modest clothes in order to avoid displaying her beauty, body and adornment in front of non-Mahram men, she may reach the highest ranks in Paradise. The Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“Know O woman, and inform other women that fulfilling these (the wife’s missions, duties and responsibilities towards her husband) equals Jihad (fighting) in Allah’s Cause.”
* Wealthy people should give young men financial aid in order to get married
Dear brothers and sisters! Rich people may be exalted to the highest ranks of Paradise by helping (poor) young men financially in order to get married.  Actually, one of the biggest problems our Islamic society is facing today is the lavish spending of wealthy people on their weddings parties, weddings gifts, wedding flower walls, etc. In other words, the cost of those parties may reach tens of millions naira, while this large amount of money, which is spent in just one night, is sufficient to facilitate the marriage of hundred young poor people who cannot afford it.
Dear brothers and sisters! Unless we change our bad inherited social habits, Allah the Almighty will never change our bad conditions. Allah the Almighty says:
“Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves (by committing sins and by being ungrateful and disobedient to Allah).” [Surah Ar-Ra’ad, 11]
Thus, the objective of “Chastity” charitable organisation is to help young men financially in order to get married. As for the woman who dresses modestly, she helps young men preserve their chastity. Similarly, wealthy people may participate in helping young men to preserve their chastity by providing housing for young men at reasonable  prices, removing the obstacles standing in youth way to get married, and keeping them away from distractions which drive them to commit sins and wrong doings.
Our Master Umar Ibn Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, once tested one of his leaders. He asked him:
“What will you do if one of your people steals something? He said, “I will cut off his hand.” Then Umar said, “If one of your people comes to me hungry or unemployed, I will cut off your hands not his! Almighty Allah appointed us leaders to help them make their living, to provide them with crafts and to satisfy their needs. If we guarantee them all these things, they will be grateful to us. Human hands are a powerful tool which if not used in Halal work could be used in Haram one.”
* Man does not live by bread alone
One of my noble brothers sought my advice regarding a very serious matter. He said, “I need your advice on a matter. I want to close my factory and to lay off all my workers, because the raw materials are not available nowadays, and my factory is making no profits. Furthermore, I have accumulated enough money for the rest of my life.”  I asked him, “How many workers are employed at your factory?” He answered, “There are about eighty workers.” I said, “I strongly advise you not to do that, because even if you are making no profits, you are a true winner in both this life and in the next, because you are providing employment opportunities for eighty workers who are the breadwinners and the heads of their eighty families. This is the true success in the Sight of Allah the Almighty.” Alhamdulillah, he took my advice, may Allah reward him abundantly, and he continued his work, then his problem was solved after a while.
It is said, “Man does not live by bread alone (he has spiritual needs as well as physical ones).” Furthermore, he may be exalted to the highest rank in the Sight of Allah the Almighty after performing righteous deeds. So, what caught my attention when I attended the opening ceremony of “Chastity” charitable organisation was that it was founded and managed by a group of educated righteous young men who were aware of the problems facing their society. Moreover, it was heartwarming to hear that during the last four years, more than one thousand charitable organisations were founded to serve our community.
Dear brothers and sisters! We should say with full conviction that the time for rest has passed, and we need deeds and actions not words. Thus, the amount of money collected in that charitable ceremony was really incredible, and this abundant goodness is indicated in the following Noble Hadith in which the Prophet Muhammad, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“There is still khair (goodness) in my Ummah till the Day of Judgement.”
According to customs and traditions, many people make a gift of a valuable small antique glass plate or something else by which they invite others to their wedding (as a souvenir). Instead, it is recommended to donation to an organisation that is dedicated to help young people get married on their behalf then give them a donation receipt, like some people do nowadays. Why do you not give them some Islamic books on Islamic jurisprudence, on the Prophetic biography, or on Noble Hadith, etc. (not a Mushaf since there are many Mushafs in every house) instead of giving them antique glass plates or the like as wedding gifts while they may have no room for it in their houses? Why do you not ask your guests not to send large flower bouquets for your party, since one or two flower bouquets are enough, and ask them to make a donation for an organisation which is dedicated to help young people get married instead of that? How long will we blindly follow outmoded customs and traditions? How long will our young people continue to suffer? I swear by Allah, the Only Deity worthy of worship, whenever a single righteous young woman calls me and asks me bashfully to find her a righteous husband, I am deeply hurt; because she has the right to get married and have children, but unfortunately, marriage nowadays becomes restricted to rich people who ensure housing and a high standard of living.
Dear brothers and sisters! Keep the following Noble Hadith in your mind: the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“For if you do not do that there will be Fitnah in the land and widespread corruption.”
Unfortunately, moral depravity and corruption is widespread in our society. That means our mission is to lessen its severe negative impact on young people and to protect them from it.
* Having control over lusts is one of the characteristics of true believers
Dear brothers and sisters! Allah the Almighty says:
“And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame.” [Surah Al-Mu’minun, 5-6]
One of the characteristics of the true believer is that he fulfils his sexual desire only after marriage. Some of you may do not know exactly how widespread moral corruption is nowadays, since young people cannot afford to get married, some illegal types of marriage contracts are spread between young couples such as Mut’ah marriage, Urfi marriage, Misyar marriage, and other strange types of marriage, which have no basis in Shari’ah (Islamic Law). Thus, when young people want to get married but cannot overcome the financial obstacles standing in their way, they may resort to these types of illegal marriage contracts. Hence, as long as our main concern is to look rich in front of people, and as long as we care about what people think of us, and so we look for wealthy men, who earn the highest levels of income and who live in luxurious houses in the richest neighborhood, in order to show off in front of others, we will never gain the Pleasure of Allah the Almighty.
Dear brothers and sisters! It was narrated that Al-Walid Ibn Abdul Malik, who built the Umayyad Mosque, came to one of the famous scholars of At-Tabi’in (the generation of Muslims who were born after the death of the Noble Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, but who were contemporaries of his companions), Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyib, may Allah be pleased with him, and asked for his daughter’s hand in marriage, but Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyib refused him (although he was fairly rich), and he gave her in marriage to one of his righteous poor students. On the very day they wrote the marriage contract, he went with his daughter to the house of that student, and he knocked at his door. His student asked, “Who is at the door?” Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyib replied, “It is me; Sa’id.” That student thought of all his acquaintances who had the same name, but it did not occur to him that the one knocking at his door was his scholar Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyib, so when he opened the door, he was quite astonished. Then Sa’id Ibn Al-Musayyib pushed his daughter gently to him and said, “Take your wife, my son.” Thus, unless we completely reject false traditions and customs which call to showing off and boastfulness, our affairs will never be set right.
* The virtue of marriage in Islam
Dear brothers and sisters! Islam greatly encourages marriage. Our master Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
“Whoever encourages you to refrain from getting married is calling you to turn away from Islam.”
Also, when he saw an old man who was still single, he criticised him saying:
“Nothing is preventing you from getting married except impotence or immorality.”
In Islam, the normal person should get married, and the healthy society should mitigate or remove the obstacles standing in the way of young people to get married.
Furthermore, dear brothers and sisters! The Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, considered marriage almost an act of worship. Consider this Noble Hadith:
“Abu Dharr, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said: “And in man’s sexual intercourse (with his wife) there is a Sadaqah.” [Muslim]
Which means when you get married and help your wife as well as yourself to be chaste, this is regarded as a Sadaqah; an act of worship.
“And in man’s sexual intercourse (with his wife) there is a Sadaqah.” [Muslim]
Besides, the money you spend on your wife will be recorded for you as a Sadaqah. Sa’ad Ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for Allah’s sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife’s mouth.”
This indicates that even the morsel of food you put in your wife’s mouth will be recorded for you as a Saqaqah; an act of worship in the Sight of Allah the Almighty.
Dear brothers and sisters! There is no need to talk about the virtue of marriage in Islam since this subject has been discussed many times. Instead, I would like to address those in charge, governments, parents of young people, wealthy people, sage people, thinkers, and preachers: You should strive to mitigate the obstacles standing in the way of young people to get married, to facilitate their matters, to make things easier to them and provide them with financial support, and bear in mind that the best mediation is to mediate between two righteous spouses to  marry each other. It was mentioned in the Athar that:
“Whoever helps someone in finding a proper righteous spouse will be rewarded with one year’s worship, fasting during all the days and offering prayers all the nights for every word he says and for every step he makes.”
My respected people! Do not listen to satanic foolish popular sayings such as:
“It is better to follow a funeral procession than to help someone find a proper righteous spouse!”
Verily, these are the words of Satan (who works hard to sow seeds of discord amongst spouses). Let me repeat what was mentioned in the Athar:
“Whoever helps someone in finding a proper righteous spouse will be rewarded with one year’s worship, fasting during all the days and offering prayers all the nights, for every word he says and for every step he makes.”
Dear brothers and sisters! I have mentioned above that moral depravity has spread in our society, but I assure you that it will never spread among true believers. Allah the Almighty says:
“Verily! He (Satan) has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allah).” [Surah An-Nahl, 99]
I would like to address young people: in Al-Jami As-Saghir (which is a collection of Hadiths) there is a list of over twenty Noble Hadiths beginning with: The right of….” such as, “The right of parents upon their children…”, ” The right of children upon their parents…”, “The right of a husband upon his wife…”, ” The right of a wife upon her husband…”,  etc. Yet, when you read the following Noble Hadith, your skin shivers out of reverence for Allah the Almighty.
“Narrated Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
“There are three for whom it is a right upon Allah to help him; The Mujahid in the cause of Allah, the Mukatab who intends to fulfill (the Kitabah), and the one getting married who intends chastity.”
Accordingly, when a young man invokes Allah the Almighty in prostration during Salah to grant him a righteous wife who pleases him when he looks at her, guards his property and herself in his absence and obeys him, Allah the Almighty will respond to his invocation since the true believer has a right upon Allah the Almighty to help him when he seeks chastity.
Dear brothers and sisters! There are thousands of touching stories about young men who refrain from disobeying Allah the Almighty and lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things, then Allah the Almighty rewards them for that with righteous wives who please them and in whom they find tranquility in the midst of the stresses of life.
Dear brothers and sisters! We should spread awareness about the importance of facilitating marriage for young people. Allah the Almighty orders Muslim Ummah as a whole to do that, He says:
“And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband).” [Surah An-Nur, 33]
Which means it is recommended to help young people get married. However, when moral depravity spreads, it becomes an obligation since moral deviation will severely affect the whole society including those who are morally corrupt, those who spread moral corruption, and those who approve that.
“It was narrated that Allah the Almighty sent some angels to destroy a village, but the angels said, “O Our Lord, there is a righteous person among them.” Allah the Almighty says, “Punish him first, because he showed no sign of disapproval upon seeing others violating My Limits.”
Thus, our society should contribute in removing the obstacles (standing in the young people’s way to get married). I heard that in a town in Nigeria, local notables comes together and agreed that any woman’s dowry should be no more than a Rub’u Dinar, and a cloth to use for marriage’s celebration. Also, the husband should provide a separate accommodation for her, even if it is only one room. In fact, unless we facilitate marriage for young people, we will fail to contribute to the safety of our society.
* Globalization contributes to the propagation of pornography
Dear brothers and sisters! Globalization imposes pornography (on other countries) in the sense that when the Western world became the most powerful in the world, they started to exercise their unipolar hegemony, to control all other countries, and to propagate pornography. However, the good news is that their plans will be doomed to failure In Shaa Allah.
A short time ago, a conference was held at a hotel in one of the Arab countries, with the aim of spreading sexual immorality among their young people. Fortunately, some of their sincere Islamic scholars, may Allah reward them abundantly, confronted that aim immediately; they submitted a complaint to the competent authorities since that conference was held without authorisation. As a result, it was immediately banned, while those who held that conference will get their just deserts in the end.
* Forgoing marriage, and the rising rates of divorce and prostitution in society
Dear brothers and sisters! I was very sad when I was told that according to the latest statistics, more than half of the women in our blessed country are unmarried, while the rate of married women should be 90 to 95%. Thus, half of young women are single, waiting for marriage, and young men are unable to get married (owing to financial difficulties), whereas prostitution has become fairly widespread. Verily, this is a very serious problem. Allah the Almighty says:
“Evil (sins and disobedience of Allah, etc.) has appeared on land and sea because of what the hands of men have earned (by oppression and evil deeds, etc.), that Allah may make them taste a part of that which they have done, in order that they may return (by repenting to Allah, and begging His Pardon).” [Surah Ar-Rum, 41]
Dear brothers and sisters! Let me briefly tell you that in some cases, when couples rush into marriage, their marriage may end in divorce, because of the reckless behaviour of an irrational mother-in-law, father-in-law, or spouse. In fact, marriage is a very great blessing. However, the wife who does not appreciate this great blessing may be deprived of it; she may get divorced. Likewise, the husband who does not appreciate this great blessing may also be deprived of it; his wife may willingly ask for divorce. Thus, he who has a wife and children should appreciate and maintain this great blessing.
Dear brothers and sisters! I always say that when it comes to marital conflicts, divorce will never be the right solution, but rather many problems will exist after divorce, especially if the spouses who are considering divorce have children.
Dear brothers and sisters! The most rational father is he who praises his son in law in front of his daughter, so that she will deeply appreciate her husband, and who praises his daughter in law before his son, so that he will deeply appreciate his wife. Similarly, the most rational mother is she who praises her son in law in front of her daughter, so that she will deeply appreciate her husband, and who praises her daughter in law  in front of him, so that he will deeply appreciate his wife. The Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“Whoever sows dissention (between people) do not belong to us (Muslims).”
Sometimes, rancour is the only reason behind thousands of divorce cases, i.e. when parents insist stubbornly that their young daughters or sons should get divorce for the desires of revenge or something else, their daughters or sons will be the victims of that divorce. In fact, those parents are not considered righteous. The Prophet, may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“Whoever sows dissention (between people) do not belong to us (Muslims).”
Actually, divorce is not desirable in Islam, and the Prophet may Allah’s Peace and Blessings be upon him, said:
“Do not issue divorce, for the Arsh (the Throne of Allah the Almighty) shakes because of divorce.”
Dear brothers and sisters! A young girl may be well-educated in a certain field which she will never practice in her life, while her parents forget to teach her the most important things she needs to know in her life before she gets married, such as the etiquettes of marriage, and the duties of the wife, etc.
I was so impressed when I heard about the two schools (one is for the male students, and the other is for female students) in one of the Islamic country in East Asia. These schools offer marriage preparation courses for young people before they get married. The students should study there for six months, and these courses consist of two parts; the theoretical part includes books and lectures, and the practical part is training. Furthermore, young people are not allowed to get married unless they study at these schools and pass the exams.
At these schools, young men are taught the father’s responsibilities and duties, the wife’s rights, how to treat their spouses with kindness, how to avoid marital problems, and how to maintain a healthy marriage and to protect it during a crisis, and so on. On the other hand, young women are taught about the rights of the husband upon his wife, how to treat their in-laws with respect, how to obey their husbands and how to be happy couples, etc. In contrast, the reckless and irrational behaviour of an uneducated husband or an uneducated haughty young wife may result in divorce, then their real suffering will begin.
* Maintaining healthy marriage is your real success
Dear brothers and sisters! Getting married is not an achievement, but rather making your marriage successful is the real accomplishment. I am not exaggerating and I am not telling lie when I say that sixty to seventy percent of marital problems are caused by ignorance (i.e. unawareness of marital responsibilities and obligations), which may lead to the collapse of marriage and to family breakdown.
Upon writing the marriage contract, people say:
“This marriage is in accordance with the Book of Allah the Almighty (the Noble Qur’an) and the Sunnah of His Prophet, may the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him.”
However, have the couples really read the Shari’ah rulings on marriage which are mentioned in the Noble Qur’an and Sunnah? For example, Allah the Almighty says:
“And live with them honourably.” [Surah An-Nisa’, 19]
The most remarkable interpretation of the above-mentioned Noble Qur’anic verse is that living with your wife with kindness does not only mean to avoid causing harm to her but also to endure the harm caused by her. Thus, this is the deep meaning of living with your spouse in kindness.
Dear brothers and sisters! If you aim to get the gains of this worldly life, you should seek Islamic knowledge, and if you want to have a happy marriage, you should seek Islamic knowledge as well. There are many useful books which help one build a successful marriage such as, ‘fifty-five tips to build a happy marriage’, ‘ninety smart ways to keep your marriage healthy’, and ‘seventeen common causes of marital conflicts’, and so on. All these books are supported by evidences from the Noble Qur’an and the Noble Hadith, as well as evidences gathered from scientific, psychological, social and biological studies and researches.
In conclusion, dear brothers and sisters! Know that, excellence in life depends entirely on knowledge. Thus, an ignorant person is the worst enemy of himself since even his true enemies can never harm him as much as he harms himself out of his ignorance.
O Allah! We beseech You to show us the way of righteousness together with those to whom You showed it; and to give us good health together with those whom You have healed; and to be our Protector, as You are of those whom You protect; and to bless what You have bestowed on us; and to save us from the affliction that You have decreed – for You rule with justice and You are never judged; and he whom You protect shall never be humiliated, and he whom You make Your enemy shall never be elevated, blessed and dignified are You. We thank You for what You have decreed, we ask You for Forgiveness for our sins, and we repent to You.
O Allah, please lead us to the good deeds, for no one leads to them but You; please lead us to the good conduct, for no one leads to it but You; please make us do well in the Religion, which is our dignity, make us do well in our worldly life, in which we dwell and grant us safety on the Day of Judgment for it is our Final Destination. O Allah, please supply our life with all good things and make our death a rest from every evil.
O our Master, the Lord of all Worlds, please make us desire what You have made lawful and reject what You have made unlawful, make us by Your benevolence independent of all others and make our obedience to You turn us away from our disobedience.
O Allah, by Your Mercy and Benevolence, raise high the word of truth and this Religion, grant triumph to Islam, dignify Muslims, humiliate polytheism and polytheists O Lord of the Worlds.
O Allah, lead the leaders of Muslims to what pleases You, O Lord of the Worlds, as You are the only One Who is the Most Capable over His decreed and the Most Capable of answering our Du’a.
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of Creations.
This Jumu’ah Khutbah (Friday Sermon) was prepared for delivery today Friday, Rabi’ul Thani 27, 1440 AH (January 4, 2019), by Imam Murtadha Muhammad Gusau, the Chief Imam of Nagazi-Uvete Jumu’ah and the late Alhaji Abdur-Rahman Okene’s Mosques, Okene, Kogi State, Nigeria. He can be reached via: gusaumurtada@gmail.com or +2348038289761.
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