How to Deal With An Affair When You Are The Cheater

Did you recently cheat on your lover? Or are you in the middle of one? If you are in any of these shoes and you have a conscience, chances are you are full of guilt and looking for a way to deal with it.

I have been there, you know. There was a time I cheated on my boyfriend. Like, not once, not twice. And during those periods, my heart was heavy with guilt. How could I have done this to him? What would be his reaction when he finds out what I have done? Would this relationship come to an end? If it does, how would he be able to handle it knowing that the one person he loves hurt him that much? The guilt was much.

So, believe me, when I say, I have been there and I know how it feels to cheat on your lover and deal with the guilt that comes after it. It could be affecting you negatively in some aspects of your life without you knowing. Now, the question is, how would you deal with this guilt? How would you handle it?

  • Take responsibility;

That’s usually the first thing you should do as a cheater – instead of making excuses why you cheated on your lover, own up to what you have done; you cheated and that’s it. Don’t try to look for someone to blame. When I cheated on my boyfriend, I made this mistake – I blamed him for being emotionally distant but his reply was, “You should have walked away than do what you did”, which was true. I mean, if you feel you are not getting what you want from a relationship, instead of cheating on your lover, walk away. 

  • Confess;

If you are yet to tell your lover that what you have done, that could be the major reason why the guilt coat is still heavy on you. So, I suggest that you open up to your lover, tell him/her what you have done and ask for forgiveness. Opening up to them has a way of reducing the guilt. 

  • Try to make it right;

After confession and your partner decide to forgive you, the next step you should take is try to make it right. This can be done by giving your partner enough reassurance, being honest; the trust had been broken, so the best you can do is build it up again, whatever it takes.

  • Talk to someone;

If the guilt is still much that you can’t deal with it alone, then I suggest that you talk to someone. It can be a priest, a therapist, a friend, a relative, just anyone who you think would listen to you. this would help you get everything off your chest. 

  • Forgive yourself;

This is often the hardest part but the most important. People would judge you, they would call you a monster for what you have done but don’t be too harsh on yourself. Know that you are human bound to make mistakes and forgive yourself for what you have done.

I hope this helps. Happy holidays!!!

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