So there is this guy that has been on your neck for months now. He texts you often; calls you like three times a day to check up on you and he always tells you how much you mean to him. You guys finally start seeing each other and all is well and finally you decide that it is time to get between the sheets. It felt comfortable and natural. And then everything changes.
You noticed that he grew distant. Perhaps he started taking longer to reply to your texts or he ghosted you altogether. Like slowly, this guy that seemed to like you a lot starts disappearing from your life. He stops texting as often, always seems to be too busy to hang out and suddenly starts acting weird around you and you wonder why.
The truth is, no matter how much we try to downplay it, sex changes things. I mean, its possible to have a relationship with a guy, you guys have sex and then you bump into him and he starts acting like you loaned him money.
It hurts I know but the truth is, nothing changes for a man after sex. He doesn’t see you or the relationship any differently. But a lot can change for the woman. Suddenly, she is in a totally different headspace. She is consumed with fears and worries and doubts and her insecurities do a full takeover.
Now, let us take a look at some reasons why a man would pull away after sex. If a guy starts acting different after you guys must have slept together, here are the most common reasons why this happens-
1. You put on a lot of pressure-
For most ladies, the moment they have sex with a guy, they start asking the question, “Where is this relationship going to?”. Having this kind of conversation with a guy might make him feel pressured and uncomfortable and then he begins to withdraw. If you really wanted to have a relationship with him, it is better to have that conversation with him before sleeping with him.
2. Maybe he doesn’t like you enough.
Guys as we all know love the chase. When a woman proves hard to get, it thrills them and they don’t give up. Perhaps he was attracted to you, he enjoys you, he thinks you are a cool chick but he doesn’t just want to be a relationship with you. He doesn’t like you that much, it hurts I know but there is nothing you can actually do about it than move on.
3. You start expecting much
It’s natural for us ladies whether consciously or unconsciously to have an expectation of things in the relationship changing because you guys slept together. And for guys, they might feel pressured by it. They don’t see sex as some sort of milestone in a relationship. To them, sex and relationship are two different things. They have no connection. To them, sex doesn’t and shouldn’t change the status of the relationship. And if you had the expectation that it should change, he starts reacting to that expectation. Hence, the attitude.
4. Your assumption that guys will lose interest after the sex
We all have the mindset that guys are known for losing interest in a lady once they have slept together. I don’t know how we came to this conclusion but the truth is that sex doesn’t make a man lose interest. It’s either he wasn’t interested in you or something else happened that caused him to lose interest. So, it wasn’t necessarily the sex. If you think the sole reason why a guy withdraws from you after sleeping with him was because he has gotten what he wanted which was the sex, you will be consumed with fears and worry. And when he senses this vibe, he pulls back a bit because; it doesn’t feel good to be around you anymore.
If you are in this shoe, if you have had sex with a guy and he starts acting up, my best advice for you is this – Let. Him. Be. Don’t keep calling and texting him. This will just make you look desperate and needy which is a huge turnoff.