Perception isn’t always reality, life is filled with impressions, mirage etc miles away from reality. Ask first before making conclusions. Ones smiles may look friendly, their disposition so warm and their words so expressively endearing, still don’t make conclusions and run with the notion of their likeness and love . Still ask and make assurance doubly sure that what you think they are expressing is same with what they have in mind.
There is no act to read the mind’s construction on the face. There is equally no act to read exact meaning into words expressed. Words are flexible and could possibly be misleading, prone to misinterpretation and vulnerable to the imagintion of human emotions. Ask them what they mean before you run with your assumptions of them.
Not all hugs are hugs of love. Not all kisses come with an expression of fraternity and not all smiles reflect warmth and friendliness. Find out what it means from the giver before running with the stereotype meaning of them, oftentimes, far away from the sender’s intentions. Ask first!
Ask first, make assurance doubly sure before taking as real what is mere scarecrow. Some scarecrows look like humans, make sure they are scarecrows not human. Ask first!
Ask first before taking someone’s brotherly or sisterly gestures as love expression for possible long-term commitments. Many hearts broken, forlorned and disappointed. Asking for proper definition of such overly gestures of love will help for clarity.
Stop assuming, words are like wood in the shop of a carpenter, if the purpose is not defined, it can be used for many constructions.
Ask first what the wood word is meant for before engaging the artistry of the carpenter of your mind for any construction, else you construct what was not. Human mind is fertile, very fertile and can grow anything. Without proper guidance, it can make the seeds of a tomato grow into an orange. Ask first before forming ideas into the carpentry workshop of your mind, discretion is the better part of valour.
That you are hugged and smiled at, showers with words so sweet and kind, may not be signs and signals for love, commitment and relationshop , it may be mere expression of christain charity. Ask first! Don’t run with the fantasies in your heads. It may be counter-productive and heart rending when the imagination formed in the mind isn’t what abinitio was the purpose.
Many have been led on unto a journey they thought had a destination only to realize it was merely an aimless walk around for transient pleasures. If they had asked where the destination was headed, the heartache experienced would have been avoided. Ask first don’t assume.
Ask first what it means. Don’t just smile over it and giggle about it . It may be very expressively filled with love and affections. Ask first before assuming it is a gesture of commitment and relationship. It may be a random expression of basic Christain Charity, without affection, attachment and commitment.
Ask first before making assumptions. Ask first, don’t assume, there may be difference between 6 and 9 , capital B and the hoof of a cow, yet they may look alike, ask first! Don’t assume, human mind can be deceptive. Don’t collect and haul them into your pocket without counting. Count and be sure.
Don’t accept hook, line and sinker because it is coming from the loved and the beloved. Ask first for clarity. Assumption is jumping into a hole by mere hearing Jump! from a trusted soul without knowing what is there in that hole and the reason for jumping and the safety net provided against getting drowned.
Even when one is sure of the motives and intentions, still ask to make assurance doubly sure. Not all that glitters is gold some may be plated and not all that is following you is a fan, they may be adverseries, closing up on you to make a meal of you. Ask first what their real intentions are.
Dr. Jarlath Uche Opara can be reached via Jarlathuche@gmail.com
