Communication in whatever form in any relationship has been identified as key. Nothing seems to work outside it. No matter how good it seems, just a matter of time, without a healthy and robust communication it will begin to cave in, collapse becomes very imminent.
Is there anything at all one needs to tell ones spouse, one isn’t saying? Are there things stuffed inside , which ordinarily should have been worn on the sleeves?
Sex is good in marriage, it lubricates and makes the wheel of marriage roll smoothly, the engine grinds without sounding noisy.
However, without good communication, the engine can still knock.
Are there things one should open up to,that are still hidden to ones spouse? Are there dark area that needs some rays of light for them to see? However dark and grey, it is always better to beam the light by oneself than allow them discovered by whatever means.
Inside that locked phone, as unaccessible as it seems , are there things they should know which are still hidden to ones spouse ? Can one stand nake before ones spouse and say, “search me and see if there is anything hidden in me not known”?
If God beckons, and going home becomes immediate, would ones spouse get shocked over hidden information about one, spiralling out from all ends?
Would ones phone messages, if discovered, throws regrets, shame and embarrassing conversation ?
Say them, speak about them, let them know by yourself, never allow them find out by themselves.
Tell them, spare no details. Those who crush and those you crush, tell them. Tell them your temptation, your falling, your chats and gossips.
Tell them yourself, never allow them to discover by themselves. Strength, trust,confidence etc are achieved by being vulnerable to ones spouse.
Building walls, setting boundaries and expressing power and ruggedness make marriage a bit toxic and suffocating.
Be simple and jovial, be open and childlike, be humble and godly. Show your real self to your spouse, not your packaged and cosmetic self. They want to see you they way you are without seeing you finish.
They want to believe there is no hideout in you, no closets and no secrets they know nothing about.
Tell them everything, however ugly and irritable. Better say it yourself than be discovered by them.
For free I tell you, those things you hold close to your chest, one day will become known to them. Better tell them, before it gets discovered. Certainly it will, for nothing will be hidden for long under the sun.
Tell them, the good, the bad and the ugly. Confession made freely without compulsion is forgiven easily than one discovered. It pains, it collapses trust and makes one feel betrayed.
Say it! Communicate it! Live freely, reduce your worries by sharing them. Only a free mind, hiding nothing, can lower guards before the spouse, afterall, there is nothing about them unknown, hidden and secretive.
Live a secret life? a life of poor communication?. At all times one will be on the edge, trying to cover tracks. Be free from this bondage by communicating. What is seen and known by others through personal revelation, loses power to hunt, embrass and shame one.
Say it! Tell your story! Leak ur secret yourself, however shameful, its crip on one would be ineffective.
Keep it simple! Keep it open! Secrets have not known to help anybody, it destroys rather.
If your phone, in the hands of your spouse gives you nightmare, then you are not communicating enough, a whole lot could be said to be unsaid! Horrible secrets to say the least!!
Jarlath Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com