Do you even realize how difficult it is dealing with you? Like, I have to go to work with you, jump all Lagos danfo buses with you, deal with annoying friends, colleagues at work and boyfriends that never understand what it is like bleeding from your genitals. Most of these bros can’t empathize and I know it’s hard for them. You tell them about the abdominal pains you are having and they go, “It’s your monthly visitor na. It’s normal. You will be fine”.
No bro! Stop telling me I will be fine. Make me fine – or maybe you don’t have to because well, you are not my man. But if you are my man, don’t just sit there and tell me I will be fine. Whether I want your attention or not, just give it and stop asking why; get my favorite food, extra pads – just take care of me. And if I start throwing tantrums, don’t – I repeat, DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART.
Okay, period, sorry I digressed. I just needed to get that off my chest. These bros don’t really understand what we go through whenever you grace us with your presence. The one that gets me irritated the most is when they call you, “Monthly visitor or lady sickness”.
First, you are not a sickness and I understand that you visit us monthly but when they use those terms, it’s as if they are embarrassed or find it shameful to call you by your name, “Period”, “Menses”. What’s the big deal there? Some of them can’t even walk into a supermarket to get pads for their woman. And the few that do would always get awkward glances from ladies and then the “Aww…” I usually roll my eyes and wonder why the hell they are “Aww..ing”. Because a guy is buying pads? Kai! I am just tired of humans, honestly.
Again, sorry period that I digressed. I don’t know – I am beginning to sound like I am rooting for you. Thing is, I get it. I understand that nothing I can say or do can really change the fact that I have to deal with you every month till the year I hit menopause. You are like a curse hovering around every human with a vagina in-between her legs.
My last experience with you made me understand how stress and sleeping disorders scare you away. You were two weeks late and I was dead worried. Could I be pregnant? Was I medically okay? Those were the questions that gave me sleepless nights. The day I finally steeped into the pharmacy for a test, you showed up. Seriously, period, if you were human I would have strangled you that moment. Like you had to wait until I gave my hard earned money to a doctor for a check-up before you showed up? Do you think we are in this life to play hide and seek games? But anyway, I get it. I have been stressed lately and I am not sleeping well. It scared the shit out of you.
Thing is no matter how much we complain and despise you; we still need you for our survival. You have no idea how much we fret if a month passes and we are yet to see you. It’s even worse when our vaginas have constantly being playing with a bare dick and you are a broke ass girl that have no intention of settling down soon, talk less of having a baby. You have no idea how relieved we feel when we finally feel your warmth presence in-between our legs. Sometimes, we don’t even know when we go down on our knees and sing praises to our creator.
Dear period, bottom line is, all females will always need you. But can I make a little suggestion? Can you just be fair, pick a particular day in each month to just remind us that, “Babe, nothing has entered”. We have had enough of your three to seven days visit.