My initial plan was to write on sickness and how it continues to take a toll on Nigerians under the title “Who is not sick in Nigeria?” Virtually everyone is sick. Children are sick. Parents who will take them to the hospital are sick. The nurses are sick. The few available doctors only manage to come to work; they are also sick. If they are not sick in the body, they are sick of the job. No incentives. They are overworked and underpaid.
I altered the title to what appears above by replacing “in” with “of” as it later dawned on me that the sick are not just Nigerians, Nigeria itself is sick. The economy is sick. The refineries are sick. Even the Dangote’s, despite being a newly born refinery, is also sick. It has jaundice. It (the refinery) and its owner (Dangote) are viewed with jaundice. By now, Dangote must also be sick—sick of Nigeria. Of all the refineries, only one (Dangote’s) is gradually responding to treatment. We pray it recovers soon; it shouldn’t be terminally sick like its four predecessors.
Many have concluded that the Minister of Petroleum is also sick. I am not sure if the sickness that people refer to is physical; as if to say he is physically unfit. Rather, I think the President is sick of Nigeria. Why do I think so? The President has just left the “plague” which Nigeria is (or has become) under his watch for the UK. He left the Divided Nigeria for the United Kingdom to spend part of his annual leave. The sickness of Nigeria must have taken a toll on him.
Just last week, I learnt President Tinubu could not make it to the United Nations General Assembly because of his preoccupation with the problems in Nigeria and the problems with Nigeria. In a show of “patriotism” for which he is well known, he delegated his Vice, Kashim Shettima, to the 79th session of the United Nations General Assembly while he remained in Nigeria in order to squarely address issues in the country—especially the Maiduguri disastrous flood.
Now that the President has finally solved the problem of hunger in the land, put an end to insecurity, addressed all flood-related issues, and resettled all the flood victims in Maiduguri, and elsewhere, by putting permanent smile on their faces, he became sick of Nigeria. Nigerians understand! The stress is overwhelming! The President must be sick of Nigeria.
Truth be told, Nigerians are literally sick. They are also metaphorically sick. Nothing is well in the country. Our banks are sick. Our dams are sick. Our farms are sick. Our minimum wage is sick. Our schools are sick. Our roads are sick. Our network is sick. Our hospitals are sick. Just as our pockets are sick, so are our bank accounts. Under the current rulers in Nigeria, the norm is to be sick, it is taboo to be well, to be healthy, and to be hale and hearty. And if you are lucky to be well, just pretend to be sick. For our rulers take pleasure in our sickness. Our wellness is their headache and our headache is their wellness.
I learnt our lawmakers are not also feeling fine. To avoid being disrespectful, one should not to say they are sick. Because they have overworked for Nigerians to make life better, they fell ill (not sick). To appreciate their tremendous efforts and make them put on a healthy look despite their illness, President Tinubu dished out “merit” awards and confered national “honour” on some of their principal officers. Of all people, Senate President Akpabio, whether you like him or hate him, was awarded. He deserves it. His absolute loyalty to Tinubu in pushing the Renewed Hope(less)ness Agenda must have earned him the award. As far as I am concerned if loyalty to a ruler whose policy outcomes are invariably hunger and hardship is a virtue, Akpabio is a man of virtue.
President Bola Tinubu, in a live broadcast on Independence Day, conferred the honour of Grand “Comedian” of the Order of the Niger (GCON) on Senate President Godswill Akpabio. To do “justice” to the Lower Chamber (the Green House), the president also conferred the Commander of the Federal Republic (CFR) on the Speaker of the House of Representatives and the deputy Senate president. This, however, irked members of the House of Representatives. Justice, they claimed, must be done. The two Chambers are on equal pedestal, they asserted. No one is subordinate to the other, they argued. Sections of the Constitution were amply quoted to establish the fact that favouritism to one against the other is discriminatory and unjust, they adjudicated.
Because I like to see justice being done and seen to be done, I urge the President to do the needful. But at the same time, when I recalled that the Speaker, Honorable Tajudeen Abbas, did not do well in pushing for the Counter Subversion Bill that he sponsored—which would have made Tinubu’s government a totalitarian one once and for all—I doubted his unalloyed loyalty to the President. This, perhaps, should have informed the alleged discrimination against him.
If I am right in my assumption, Tinubu did nothing wrong. That is justifiable discrimination. All the speaker needs to do is to match or surpass Akpabio in the display of untainted loyalty to Tinubu before the next round of National “Merit” Award.
Lest I forget, Joe Igbokwe has recently contracted the Nigeria’s sickness. His breathing and voice have changed. He has started singing different songs. He is NOW also sick of Nigeria. He is even sicker than the “wailing wailers” because his wailings are louder and shocking. Now that everyone is sick, only the spirits that are fighting against Nigeria remain healthy—they are not sick. Let’s all pray fervently that these spirits fall sick so that common sense can begin to make sense and ultimately prevails.
I pray to Almighty God to heal all sick Nigerians, including my humble self, and Nigeria. We are physically sick. I recall a piece I wrote three years ago titled “Nigeria makes me sick.” May we be healed.
Abdulkadir Salaudeen
salahuddeenabdulkadir@gmail.com
