There’s nobody alive that will tell me what I am about to say hasn’t happened to them before. This is because as humans, you meet new people every day. Some remain strangers, and some, become something more.
A lot happens from ‘what’s your name?’ to “I’m coming over.” The problem with strangers is that you never know which one you’ll end up with. This mystery rests boldly encapsulated in something that you must share with new people; Conversations.
The fact that you’ll have thousands of conversations, or more, throughout your lifetime is something that should startle you. Some of these conversations may start as enquiries, some as a result of you finally gathering the courage to talk to your crush.
Sadly, the channel through which all conversations flow, has a defined endpoint. Before I go on, I want you to accept the fact that not everybody can be your friend. I mean, it’s not possible for everyone to like you, do you agree?
So, with that established, you can also agree that not everyone you talk to will end in a ‘happily ever after.’ Remember, I was talking about a channel of conversations? Well, the most precise and redundant flow through which all conversations move is meeting as strangers with a probability of ending up as strangers again
I’ll explain, but first, answer these questions.
- Are you still friends with a stranger you spoke with?
- Did you have fun memories with them?
- Were you both lucky enough to fall in love?
- If yes, how did it end? (I mean the first one)
Distance, misunderstanding, a breach of trust, anger, cheating, a silent grudge that later became a loud issue, or maybe, you both are still friends who don’t just have the time to talk anymore.
I hear someone say, “We can make the time.” That’s as good as saying a perfect work-life balance can be achieved fruitfully without one upscaling the other. Hey, as long as there is life there’s hope, right?
There is always a reason to give, but in all this, there’s a visible pattern.
You meet someone new, if you both don’t share a moment, it ends. If you do, it proceeds to calls and texts.
If it’s a business deal, it ends. If it’s not, you proceed to create memories for yourselves. If you don’t fall in love, you stay friends. If you do, you proceed to seeing each other frequently. It could be on dates, outings, you think about each other and stay constantly in touch because let’s face it, it’s hard to stay far away from each other.
At this point, there are only two things involved. One of those things is reality, and the other is understanding. Both work hand-in-hand, mostly because reality goes before the other and the reason is simple.
The talking stage is so beautiful it seems perfect, or as they say, ‘Too-good-to-be-true.’ The connection is synchronised perfectly, you’ll never believe that something can go wrong. Until, of course, the realities of human imperfection show up.
Since many believe that the end of any fantastic love story is marriage, you might get married only to realise that there is a lot you are yet to know about your ‘perfect match.’
The good news is that life is all about learning, unlearning, and re-learning. You can buckle up and get to work. That’s life for you, always wanting the best from us without ever asking first our permission.
I’ve often highlighted that the two hardest parts of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, are staying together and being apart from each other. The reason is because when you stay apart, you miss each other, but when you stay together, sometimes, you can’t stand each other.
However, as the Japanese will say, ‘in every crisis is a hidden opportunity.’ The opportunity for growth rests heavily on your ability to understand your partner because if you don’t, it is inevitable that with all those memories, all those emotions, all the pretty pictures in all the fancy restaurants you both smiled into, you will go from strangers to friends, to lovers, then acquainted strangers, and back eventually to strangers.
The most beautiful people are the ones you don’t know because once you do know them, you have two choices; Leave them or understand them.
