There exists a natural order in the relationship between a man and a woman — one that is as old as creation itself. In this divine arrangement, the man is the head while the woman is the neck that supports and stabilizes him. Both are essential; both have purpose. Yet, their roles are distinct. Any attempt to alter this order, whether consciously or unconsciously, often brings unintended consequences that quietly erode the very fabric of relationships.
Through observation and analysis of the modern Nigerian-style of relationships — particularly the popular “boyfriend and girlfriend” model — one can easily see that gender roles have become blurred. In many cases, affection now competes with ego, and relationships are gradually losing their natural harmony.
When a woman begins to assume the man’s responsibilities — paying bills, making all decisions, or taking charge of everything — something subtle but serious begins to shift. The man, even without intending to, starts to withdraw. He loses his natural position of leadership not necessarily because he is weak, but because nature itself resists confusion. The balance is disrupted.
In such situations, women often, though unconsciously, begin to act like men — commanding rather than suggesting, leading rather than complementing. And when this happens, many men, even those with good intentions, begin to feel displaced. They lose their sense of relevance and quietly seek validation elsewhere. This is why some men, despite being in serious relationships with successful women, still look for other outlets where they can express their masculinity. It is not always about infidelity; sometimes it is about reclaiming the natural feeling of being a man.
A recent Facebook post captured this confusion perfectly. It read:
“If the husband earns ₦2 million and the wife earns ₦6 million monthly, who should pay the house rent?”
At first glance, it seems like a harmless question. But at its core lies a deep misunderstanding of leadership and purpose in relationships. Leadership in a home is not determined by who earns more, but by divine order. The moment money becomes the yardstick for authority in a relationship, love begins to lose its meaning. The woman may have more resources, yet her wisdom lies in how she uses those resources without displacing the man.
Scripture remains timeless in its truth. In Genesis 2:18, God declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” The word “helper” does not imply weakness; it represents support, wisdom, and partnership. A woman’s greatest power is not in leading a man but in inspiring him to lead rightly.
On the other hand, men must understand that being the head does not mean domination. Leadership demands responsibility, vision, and sacrifice. When a man leads with love and purpose, a wise woman will naturally support him with peace and devotion.
Relationships, therefore, collapse not because love dies, but because roles are distorted. When men stop leading and women stop supporting, confusion replaces companionship. Homes become battlefields of ego, and affection becomes a competition of authority.
In truth, no amount of modern civilization can rewrite divine order. The foundation of a healthy relationship is not wealth, education, or gender equality debates — it is understanding and respecting natural roles.
Women, your success does not reduce your femininity. You can be powerful and still let your man lead.
Men, your leadership is not a license for pride but a call to protect, provide, and guide.
And to both, love grows best when leadership and support walk hand in hand.
In every thriving relationship, the man remains the head, and the woman remains the neck that holds him steady. When both function in harmony, the result is peace, progress, and partnership.
No matter how modern our world becomes, divine order never expires. Whenever we attempt to reverse it, confusion takes the throne and love loses its language.
