Should I elope with my fiance?


I don’t think life will be worth living without Maxwell.  He is my friend, brother and confidant. In fact, he means the world to me.

I am Vivian and I am 31 years old. Maxwell and I have been childhood friends. We have a lot in common and anything that hurt either of us hurts the other. We promised each other that we will spend our lives together as husband and wife. Maxwell hails from Uvwie LGA while I am from Aniocha South LGA both in Delta state.

Both of us had the privilege to attend the same tertiary institution and now we have graduated and are gainfully employed.  We lack virtually nothing.

Maxwell proposed marriage to me on my 29th birthday.  I was so excited that at last we would be building a home together and was so delighted to announce the news to my parents. To my surprise, they suddenly grew cold towards me. When I inquired from them the reason for their attitude, I was shocked to hear my parents refer to a person God created as an outcast. And that because  of that, we  shouldn’t get married.

I have made my parents see reasons, that in this modern time such customs are barbaric. I have persuaded them for two good years to no avail. Maxwell is ready to wait and I love him so much and never wish to lose him.

This is the decision I want to take, but  I really don’t know, if it is a wise decision. I plan to elope with him to a place we will be left alone to live in peace.  He is not aware though, but I am 100% sure he will consent to it.

Auntie Dora, what do I do because I am not growing younger and I am not ready to start all over again, falling in love with somebody I think I will never love.


Dear Vivian,

It is good and expedient to be obedient to one’s parents but in this case, the reason for your parents’ refusal for you to marry Maxwell is anachronistic.  Unless  of course they have other  reasons they are not telling you.

All the same, there is no need to  elope with your fiancé as this is an indecent move and does not speak well of you.

My candid advice is that you exercise a little more patience with your parents, make them see reasons why life without Maxwell is meaningless to you and also let them know God abhors calling His creation  an outcast. More importantly approach them with  gentleness as parents love to be treated with respect.




  1. All too familiar scenario. Very sane and balanced advice given.
    There are times it might however be saner to be insane. By all means explain to your parents, give them time as you deem appropriate. Discuss with your friend so you both know the implications off your move then go ahead and marry if you still want to.
    The road ahead after this will be tough but worth it if both of you are agreed on the way forward. Parental support will make it lighter but they will also get the stick from extended family and wider kindred. This grotesquely unfair practice has to be broken. You are not the first and you sure will float not sink if you swim. Take courage.


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