Dear Auntie Dora,
My name is Agnes and I am 30 years old. There is this guy (Paul) I met during my National Youth service Corp in Delta state. He made me feel at home in the course of my service to the nation. I lacked nothing during this period and he never asked anything in return.
I served in a private firm and Paul’s elder sister happened to be my employer. She introduced me to Paul as a good and decent girl and ever since then Paul wouldn’t stay a day without calling or sending me gifts.
It is over one year since I finished my service year and left Delta state but Ossas (as I call him) has continued to call even without my returning his calls. He has also continued to shower me with lots of gifts.
Not long ago, I received a call from him pleading that he would want to meet my parents. He said he would love to marry me.
The problem I’m having is that Ossas is not educated. He dropped out of school half way into his secondary education and went into business.
I am confused as to what my reply should be as my refusal will make him think that I am ungrateful. I loved him but he is not presentable. Our levels are different and I wonder what people will say about me if I go ahead to say yes to his proposal.
Please Auntie Dora, I need your advice in order not to make mistake.
This is a dicey one Agnes, especially as you seem to have been giving him the signals for at least one one year and have been accepting gifts from him. It reminds me of the song ‘Christiana’, by the late Nico Mbaruga. In the said song, after the man had trained Christiana in school, she suddenly realized the man was not his level. But having said this, the choice should be yours because marriage is a lifelong commitment.