Breakups are messier in this online age. You may have wrapped your world around your partner and when there is a split you begin to wonder what to do – what facebook status to put up? What pictures to take off instagram? There are many disturbing questions that may run through your mind.
This article will help answer some daring issues you may have to deal with after a breakup.
You are suddenly single again. Should you steer clear of social media?
In the early stages of a breakup, going online can feel like revisiting the pain. If there is any animus or unfinished business between you, looking at your ex’s profile is a form of psychic self-mutilation.
If the breakup was not your choice – i.e you were dumped, it’s best you take a temporal holiday from social media. If you’re seeing other people happy, or your partner moving on, that can be very distressing. But if you feel strong enough to venture online, Facebook lets you “unfollow” your ex so that their content doesn’t come up in your news feed. This allows you to create some distance, without the finality of unfriending, which removes them from your social media profile entirely (the equivalent on Twitter and Instagram is called “muting”). That way, you’re still friends, but you can’t see any of their information.
Should you cut all online ties with your ex’s friends?
Is it ever a good idea to like posts by an ex?
It depends why you are doing it. If you are liking your ex’s posts because you are on good terms and there’s no lingering romantic attachment, this is OK, but best saved for major life events. Unless you had a really solid friendship before you began dating, you should try and keep a little bit of distance. ‘If they’re an ex, they’re an ex for a reason.’
Should you post about your breakup in the immediate aftermath?
Absolutely not! There’s something quite narcissistic in thinking that the world cares. Those who do care will already know, so a social media post won’t be relevant.
How quickly should you change your Facebook status?
How long should you take before flaunting new relationship publicly (on social media)?
Is it OK to break up with someone by text?
Is it really a breakup if you never officially dated?
If you are upset and hurt by the breakup, those feelings are legitimate, regardless of whether or not the relationship was official. You can form a romantic connection with someone in a moment, a month, or a year – and having that connection terminated will always feel like a body blow. If you are the person doing the breaking up, tread carefully, and be kind – Recognise that the other person may be far more invested in it than you’re feeling.
Because, when we date, we hold the other person’s heart in our hands. Handle it roughly and it will smash into smithereens. Treat it carefully and, even if it breaks, they will be able to fix it so well that you would never even know.