Life is in layers, each layer comes with its pains, discomfort, frustration and oftentimes disaster. As it peels by itself, nothing would be more disastrous than to stop, wail, cry and weep, flattened on the floor of despondency, depression and hopelessness, with vision so blurred not to know what next step to take out from the hole of such a mess.
She isn’t a name that rings strange tune to anybody’s ear. The name sounds familiar, the ordeal and challenges passed neither a secret nor one that was blurry. Recently she cuts into shreds an onion of her marital challenges that teared many eyes, sobbing with runny noses, for her story of pains, frustration etc too emotional and heart-rending.
It was at Doha the capital of Qatar in a conference with the theme “Pain To Purpose” that she cut this onion of her awful experience in the hands of both her husband Yul and his second wife Judy. The conference was organized by Mrs. Nkechi Harry Ngonadi, the CEO of NHN Courtour, a clothing brand with a vision and mission to bring back decency back to church and the society at large.
It had in attendance many women in their shapes and sizes, colours and fragrance, depth and width, steeze and sparks; all dressed decently, with breathtaking designs that showed nothing but class.
Call it a gathering of women who have had rough-shod with life but remained unruffled. Women who life threw many lemons in their bitter tastes, rather than bemoan and lament endlessly, turned them into lemonades.
Women who were bended and twisted by life vicissitudes but refused to be broken. Women who though wailed and cried, having nothing at a time on their cheek than streams of tears of sorrow, pains, discomfort, disappointment, betrayal, shame, disappointment and hopelessness but decided to turn their streams of tears into an ocean of unimaginable opportunities for self discovering, empowerment and assertiveness.
Though resplendently dressed with an exquisiteness that shows grace and class, beneath that are scars, the tale behind them would flip open the lid for the rain and pour of emotional tears.
May Yul Edochie took the stage and opened up the many horrible experiences she endured in her marriage. Her marriage wasn’t looking starved, the love they shared wasn’t showing any sign of depreciation and malnourishment, like a bang, the love of her youth, the father of her beautiful children, the man who took her pride and made her feel like a woman the first time suddenly made a 360 degree turn around and became the opposite of what he was known for.
As if this shock wasn’t shocking enough, she lost her first son in the process. Her pains of devastation can only be imagined.
However, she never allowed her pains to define her. Her situation and circumstances may be very awful, how she chooses to approach them matters a lot. Though fallen, remaining fallen and flattened remains a choice only she would take. What life throws at one isn’t and shouldn’t be of great concern but how one reacts to all that should.
Nothing is more frustrating than dwelling and lamenting unendingly about things one wouldn’t be able to change, channelling one’s energy instead on things one has control over remains the ace in the hole.
Whatever May Yul Edochie told those classy and resplendently dressed women that moved them to tears must be emotionally devastating. The good thing about her experience was her ability to turn those ordeal into ideas that lightened her path for the discovery of her better version. Those nightmares into nuggets for success. Those tears into treasures hidden in herself.
Though she was battered and bittered, she became better and blossoming with many awards and endowments.
Her story is one that has a lot of hope for anybody that is passing through tough times both in marriage or any other aspect of their lives. It may pour with sounds of thunder and lightning, calmness and clear weather is certain.
Nothing is cast in stone. Life is flexible, fluid and malleable. Never allow the fluidity and transience of life to hold you down. Pull yourself by your shoestrings and lift yourself from the dungeon of life challenges. Challenges, difficulties, pains, disappointment, shame and betrayal are like birds, no one has the power to stop them from flying across one’s head. Stopping them from building nests on one’s head is one’s prerogative.
For May Yul Edochie, the failure of her marriage remains one thing she had no control over, but dusting herself and moving on as she had done remains her choice and determination.
From her pains she has entered into the purpose of her life, blossoming with grace, leaving behind the past and looking forward for the unveiling of the best version of herself piecemeal. Her latter glory is indeed better than her former.
However, the scar of losing her son would always be there, remembering it with nostalgia.
We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining—they just shine.” Dwight Moody.
For me, the above reflects the present life of May Edochie. She was and is a kneeling woman, a disposition that brought her way the mercy and favours of God in this dimension.
Dr. Jarlath Uche Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com