Living up to Expectations; the Curse that comes with being a Nigerian

Welcome to Nigeria,

A space where people take up the role of a judge, passing judgment on you without even getting to know you.  It’s so easy for us to make judgments when we are standing outside of the situation. We spend so much time policing people around us. Like, there are laid down societal expectations one must abide to and then you wonder, are we not all humans capable of making our own decisions?

If you are a married lady and there is this perfect understanding between you and your husband, they will call him weak for sheepishly bending to your rules while deep down inside their heart, they wish to have a home as peaceful as yours.

If a lady is independent; has her own apartment and a job, no man would want to have her as a wife because she won’t be submissive.

As an undergraduate, if you are girl with perfect grades, then you must be sleeping with your lecturers.

A lady that dresses classy with her makeup on fleek, (a.k.a, slay queen), she must be very dumb.

Someone that makes much post on social media and reply comments is considered jobless.

If a man sheds tears or goes emotional, he is considered weak and shouldn’t be called a man. If a lady hits him first, he shouldn’t retaliate albeit how painful it is.

If you are a married man, your wife should earn less than you do. That’s what makes you the man of the house. But then we forget that being a man is not determined by how much one earns. Being a man is not what you have but who you are. You can still be the man of the house and earn less than your woman.

If a guy is conscious of his looks, then he must be gay. It’s even worse if he coincidentally has a pink lips.

A lady that puts on anklet must be a slut or a lesbian.

If a single lady vomits, she must be pregnant.

If you are always seeking to have an alone time with yourself, someone must have broken your heart.

A lady who can’t cook or do some chores at home won’t make a good wife.

If a man drops a single lady off at her apartment, they must be sleeping together.

And then the list goes on and on. But then, the more you try to abide by these societal expectations, the more frustrating your life would be. You shouldn’t allow these expectations hold you down from being the real you, doing what makes you happy as long as you aren’t hurting others. We only live once remember? You can’t live your life wondering what people would say at some of the decisions you make.

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