Few months back, my boyfriend and I hit the rock bottom in our relationship. It was as though we were falling apart, the spark was gone and we were barely trying to keep the relationship going – the calls and chats dwindled, there was no excitement whenever we spoke to each other.
At a point, I thought that maybe it was the distance that was affecting us. I suggested that he traveled down to the state I was which he did but still, didn’t change anything. In fact, it got worse. Throughout the few days he was around, w quarreled everyday over silly things.
Well, fast forward to this moment, we are on our way to making our relationship better – we are not there yet but it is getting better than what it used to be before.
Are you in the same situation now with your lover? Is your relationship falling apart and you have no idea how to go about it? Here are some tips that can help you;
- Examine yourself;
When you feel that your relationship is falling apart, the first thing you should do is to take out time and consider your role in how things have deteriorated in the relationship. Most times, we are angry and frustrated, filled with blame toward others. But let us be honest with ourselves, no matter how much you complain about your falling relationship and what your partner is supposed to do, the only one you can change is yourself. Examine yourself and see if there is anything you are doing wrong that is probably causing the relationship run down the hill.
- Confess to them
When you are done with the self examination, the next thing you should do is to confess to your partner; share your discoveries with them. I know this is not easy and takes a lot of courage. My boyfriend did same. I know how proud he can be yet he met me and confessed that he has been such a pathetic boyfriend to me – he stated his weak points and apologized for not loving me the way I want to be loved. That act alone is one of the reasons our relationship is getting better.
- Go back to the basics;
In working towards our relationship, one thing my boyfriend did was that he started taking me to places we always went to when we first started the relationship, he also started doing things he did at the beginning of the relationships – things like, taking a walk together, being all over me in public, taking pictures together, and a whole lot of other things. It was really beautiful.
So yeah, if you feel your relationship is falling apart, go back to the basics. Maybe there was something in each other that brought you together in the first place and made you desire each other, find that one thing and make it a focus of your thoughts and activities.
The feelings may not be there since hurts often make us numb so at first this might be forced. But if you have already begun with the first two steps you have cleared the airways and have given this relationship some air.
Most times, doing all these is difficult but if the relationship matters a lot to you, you would do anything to keep it alive. It is not easy being in a relationship; it comes with a lot of sacrifices and dedication. Oya, go and do the work required to keep your relationship alive.