Daughters are a blessing. Every woman wishes for one, except maybe for a few women who would rather have all boys. A well-dressed baby girl, toddler or teenager remains the belle of the party.
Most of the time, however, there exists a strain on a mother-daughter relationship for no just reason. In the sciences, it is said that like poles do not attract while unlike poles attract. One would wonder if this theory is applicable to human relationships too.
Recently, at a gathering, some women spoke (though on a lighter note) about the fact that they find it difficult to get along with their daughters at a particular point in time and age; especially during their teenage years, which according to them should not be. Poor mother-daughter relationships are less discussed and it appears or feels to be a more “dysfunctional” issue, because it is believed that women are more nurturing, empathetic, and social than boys and men. This of course should prevent any serious conflict between mothers and their female children. The most intricate issue, however, is the fact that this situation is like a vicious circle.
According to one of them, daughters are closer to their fathers and she actually used herself as an example. She has three girls, who are always competing for their father’s attention, leaving her almost alone in the house. Her fears goes deeper than just being left alone, or the fact that her daughters prefer their father’s company, but she is worried that her girls could eventually look for their father’s stereotype when it is time for them to choose life partners.
The issues raised by these women are not peculiar to them. Once in a while, a lot of women wonder why they just can’t get along with their daughters, especially during their teenage years.
Mothers and daughters are not always best friends. When your girl is a toddler, you are more like a goddess to her. She wants to be like you, dress up like you and do everything she sees you doing; wear lipstick and model your earrings and wear your high heels, she wants to be just like mummy.
The scenario is like this until she is about 13, then you suddenly become the most ignorant, out-of-touch creature on the planet, and she wants you far away from her. And then, somewhere between her 20s and 30s, you become her best friend again.
Mothers should be careful to do things that will accord them the opportunity of remaining or becoming their daughter’s best friends during those tough adolescent years.
There is something sacred about the mother-daughter relationships, when a mother is absent from a daughter’s life, the absence leaves both women feeling empty and less whole. This could eventually lead to a situation of low self-esteem, dating and relationship problems, feelings of worthlessness and or depression.
The reason why some mothers don’t always bond with their daughters is because she might be busy on the computer, phone, with friends or school work. When you try to talk to her, she doesn’t listen or just leaves the room. She thinks you are embarrassing and you don’t know how to change that.
You may be busy as well, with work, family, money and so much more. Do either of these situations sound like you? If so, you need to improve your mother-daughter relationship and overall bond.
One cannot lay the blame for a dysfunctional mother-daughters relationship on either the mother or daughter’s door. It exists; the most important issue is learning how to get along with your daughter if you find yourself in this line; then try some of these tips.
Tips to improve mother-daughter relationship
Set aside time to spend with her: Try to find time in your schedule to do things with your daughter. Pick a certain day of the week or time of the day when both of you are free.
Know what your daughter’s likes: Knowing what kinds of activities your daughter enjoys will help greatly when you spend time together because you’ll know what to do and where to go.
Go shopping together: If there’s one thing that will build girls’ relationships, it’s shopping. You’ll have a chance to talk and find more about your daughter’s interests while getting new things.
Go out: If you don’t want to shop, there are still plenty of options. Some are the pool, park, beach, restaurant, museum, or amusement park. Now that you know your daughter’s interests, you can start to know where she might want to go.
Watch a good old movie at home: This is a great activity if it’s raining out. Watching movies can also really bring you closer.
Help her with her schoolwork: As a mom, it’s important that you should support your daughter in her education.
Cook together: Another fun way for the two of you to bond is through cooking or baking.
Show her you love her: Of course, your daughter already knows that you love her, but do you really show it? Although playing a game or watching TV is spending time together, is it really quality special time? You may not know how to do this, but it’s the little things that count. Go for a nice walk together, talk, and enjoy the nature.
Talk: It’s important for your daughter to know that she can always come and talk to you if she needs anything. When you talk to your daughter, make sure that you look at her, and she does the same.
Listen: Not only should your daughter listen to you, but you must listen as well.
Be there for your daughter: You need to always be there, whether it’s through presence at an important event, advice, or by words of encouragement.
Celebrate your daughter’s talents: This is another form of encouragement, and it will make your daughter feel so happy inside when you recognise her talents.
Be kind to her: This may go without saying, but your kindness has a huge impact on your relationship together
Trust your daughter: It may be hard to do this, but you have to be trusting.
Vanguard news – culled from: http://www.tribune.com.ng/component/k2/item/32993-improving-on-mother-daughter-relationship