See ehn, if you’re using a ring to propose marriage to someone’s daughter, it is mandatory that you kneel down. Yes, kneel. Stay on your knees until the ritual is complete. Kneeling is not optional in the oyibo tradition of proposing, it is the heart of it. The ring is only half the story, the posture is the soul. If you refuse to kneel, don’t borrow oyibo culture halfway. Propose the way your ancestors did. Don’t hide under convenience and call it modern.
We live in a confused generation neither here nor there. We copy cultures but edit them to suit our pride. We adopt the flashy part, discard the humbling part, and then call it love. But love without humility is a ticking time bomb. If a man cannot bend his knees to honor you in one of the simplest symbolic acts of commitment, how will he bend his ego when the storms of marriage demand it?
I would advise young women,if a man brings out a ring but refuses to kneel, pause before you say yes. The refusal is not just about posture, it’s a glimpse into his spirit. It is the first sign that he might play by his own rules, not the rules of love. Pride always begins small in gestures before it grows into something that breaks homes.
We treat culture like a buffet we pile our plates with the flashy parts (rings, roses, cameras) and skip the humbling parts like kneeling. But love isn’t a buffet, it’s a full meal.
Too many of us treat tradition like a menu we order the sweet things (the ring, the photo ops) but refuse the hard dish of humility. Yet it is humility that holds the union together.
We want the glamour of oyibo proposals the ring, the flowers, the Instagram moments but we cross out the kneeling as if culture is an à la carte menu. Love doesn’t work like that.
And this isn’t only about marriage proposals. It is about how we live, how we love, and how we treat traditions, whether ours or borrowed. If you want to walk the oyibo path, walk it to the letter. If you want to honor your ancestors, honor them fully. But don’t cherry-pick what feeds your ego and discard what humbles it. That is hypocrisy.
Marriage, family, and friendship thrive not on grand gestures alone but on the daily art of humility. Three words I am sorry save more homes than a thousand rings. One act of kneeling, one act of bending, one act of admitting, often determines whether love will last or collapse. The man who cannot kneel to propose will likely struggle to kneel to apologize. The woman who cannot accept humility as a standard will one day pay the price for ignoring it.
Marriage begins with a posture of humility. If a man cannot bend the knee at the beginning, don’t expect him to bend his will in the journey ahead.
Cultures are not menus where we can cherry pick and drop items at will. If you borrow a ritual, respect it. If not, honor your own. But stop the hypocrisy.
The refusal to kneel is not about knees, it is about pride. And pride is the enemy of love.
So, young men, kneel. Young women, demand it. Not because oyibo said so, but because humility has always been the backbone of lasting unions. And if you choose not to kneel, then have the courage to follow your own culture honestly don’t hide under hypocrisy.
Because at the end of the day, marriages don’t crumble because people stop loving. They crumble because people stop bending.
Stephanie Shaakaa.
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