He wants me to get pregnant first before he can marry me



Dear Auntie Dora,

I must commend your efforts in helping people tackle problems they encounter in their relationships.

My name is Deborah and I have this serious issue bordering me. I am in love with a guy called Golden from Abia State. We have dated for 3 years now and I have wished that nothing comes in between our love life.

In March this year, Golden presented me to his parents as his wife to be and ask for his parents’ consent.

To my utmost dismay, the parents told me that I must be pregnant for their son before he could take me down the aisle so as to ascertain that I am not barren and can bear  for their son beautiful children.

During this  three years’ of our relationship, we have denied ourselves sex until we are married and have religiously kept this promise, waiting patiently for that day to come.

I am from a Christian home and my father is a pastor. According to the moral value instilled in me and my siblings, sex before marriage is an abomination before God which wages is death; this teaching has guided my steps all these years.

 I cannot see myself compromising my faith simply because I want to be married.

The problem I am having now is that Golden’s parents have brainwashed him, that he is now persuading me to succumbed to his parents’ wish  so as to hasten our union. My refusal to comply is now creating a significant breach in communication and deprivation of the love we once shared.

Auntie Dora, I don’t know what to do and it’s like I am watching my dreams becoming unrealistic and shattered. I cannot help but cry all day long in my despair.


Dear Deborah,

Thank you for the compliment!

I am glad you chose the right path, not compromising your faith just because you want to be married.

If Golden truly loves you, he will not break the promise both of you have kept for three years. That you can become pregnant before marriage is not a guarantee that you will have children that will survive.

My dear harken to your belief. If Golden is for you, God will make a way because I see this as a trial and a test of your faith. But, if he is not God will provide a substitute. Be persistent Deborah.

Readers out there, what is your opinion on the issue before us?


  1. What will happen, if u get pregnant and after ur marriage u gets a miscarriage and on the process u had complications and it now becomes difficult for u to give birth what would be the place of love in ur union?


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