Dear Auntie Dora,
With a confused heart I am writing this piece seeking for your timely response and advice.
My name is Pearl. I am 25years old and dating a guy called Akin who is30. We love each other and wish to tie the knot someday. We are the envy of our friends and family members.
But Akin has this problem which is becoming uncontrollable and irritating to me. He gets mad at every call I receive from a man whether a colleague in the office or casual friends or course mates. The short time we spend together whenever he visits is almost wasted on arguments about calls I answered or fail to answer in his absence.
It is becoming unbearable for me; I have endured it for the four years of our dating each other but his behaviour recently is getting on my nerves.
Akin visited me in Abuja and perused through my phone to see new contacts I have and asked reasons for the new contacts. The painful thing is that Akin impersonated my character and chatted with a friend of mine. The result was a confrontation between them, which degenerated to verbal insults and abuses. The other guy in question is only my cousin. I was deeply ashamed and hurt by the incident.
Is it really wise for a man to answer his lady’s call or read through messages that are meant for her? I am really getting fed up of all these and will not like to become a slave or zombie if I get married to this guy.
Thanks for your mail.
In response to your question, it is normal for men that are jealous to behave just the way Akin behaves. It is however not good for a healthy relationship.
I can see that Akin loves you. If you are sure you are not cheating on him then allow him access to your phone. He will give up the bad habit once he is convinced that you are not playing games with him. Remember trust is earned. Both of you should work to earn each other’s trust.
You should also talk calmly to him to let him know that his overbearing attitude is gradually destroying your relationship.