Very interesting! Issues, views and concerns are raised. I guess I have been touching the hornet’s nest, playing around the trigger zones and dancing around heaps of gunpowder with inflammable apparel.
My Inbox for days has been inundated with reactions. Many equally took exception to the proposal for men to help their spouses with chores. To them, it is traditionally a no go area. How can a man help cook for the wife? But why wouldn’t he cook and assist in chores for the woman he wooed, married, expose himself before her in nakedness daily, begs apparently most times for access to unleash his hormonal powers?
But such men can enjoy the sweat of same wives who close up gaps of the husbands’ insolvency, cover their shame and make them feel a man when in reality out of life circumstances they are women in male’ clothing?
This is the height of patriarchal hypocrisy. Same man who wouldn’t lift a finger to help his wife do domestic chores on the bias and prejudices of culture and tradition would gladly run errands for a female boss or side chic somewhere..
I recently read a book entitled, The Manipulated Man by Esther Villar a German writer. That book sets out to manipulate men into a cage where they would believe that they are manipulated by women. It is a book that could be described as a bad profiling for womanhood and an attack on the masculinity of man. It is simply a delvry orchestration to cause a needless riff between a man and a woman, jeopardising cordiality, peace and love while enthroning unnecessary unhealthy rivalries between manhood and womanhood.
Some of the issues or concerns raised by Esther in her book were quite manipulative and factually fictitious.
Back to the partrichal hypocrisy of some fathers which traditions and culture have crafted stereotypes in their subconscious, making it difficult for some fathers to live out their marital life from the background of virtues, love, equity,fairness and complementarity.
I asked a male friend if he would possibly wash the undies of his wife. He looked out me in a certain way and said, why would I? I am not a woman wrapper. But she can wash yours? Of course she get choice!
Another friend of mine told me how he avoides receiving Holy communion from either Rev. Sisters or female extra ministers. Very shocking the reasons he gave.
Tradition and cultural stereotypes have caused a lot of gaps in many marriages. Below is one of the reactions on my part 5 on Ahead of Father’s day
“”you don’t walk on the floor with the place you called ‘head’ nah. according to you, men should sustain the habit of ‘helping’ their wives in the kitchen.., how? what will our growing children, maid, relatives etc., do,
you even dare to say ‘husbands & wives’ are equal etc., seriously? how? do you mean to say ‘they are one..?…
For him helping the wife with chores is walking on the floor with ones head, an aberration. For him helping the wife with chores is stooping low by God’s mandate. For him husbands and wives are not equal.
As a Christian father treating your wife as Christ treates the church should be the only compass that would help you navigate your marriage to a peaceful and harmonious place.
Tradition and culture seem to over hype the masculinity of a man with hubris. As a father you are to act as a good and visionary leader whose leadership style isn’t autocratic, laissez-faire, transactional but democratic, transformational and God- centric.
Think about and make the life of you wife less hectic as you in love offer willingly your shoulders for a relief.
There is nothing in male chauvinism before someone who knows you inside out, can hold you while you passionately beg and cry for access.
Happy father’s day in advance
Jarlath Uche Opara Jarlathuche@gmail.com
